post

‘PET SEMATARY’ A Gory B-Movie Scarefest That Flips The Script

For the forty years that Steven King’s novels have been translated to film, my home state of Maine has been his primary setting. Maine, as interpreted by King, is a land of many terrors: telekinetic prom queens, sewer-dwelling clowns, rabid Saint Bernards. Perhaps it’s the fact that ninety percent of the state is covered by forested land, amplifying that innate human fear of the unknown and unknowable wilderness, that makes Maine such a suitable setting for King’s horrors to unfold. There’s something inherently spooky about the woods that even as a kid, growing up on property that ran aground dense second-growth forest, I was able to tap into. I remember dragging my younger brother or helpless elementary-school friends deep into those woods, conjuring up faux-folklore about past peoples, haunting spirits and killer cryptids.  Read More

post

‘US’ a Superfly Flurry of Inventive Horror-Comedy World Building

Comedy and horror exist in harmonious marriage to one another. Even the grimmest horror exploits regularly squeeze uncomfortable laughs from packed crowds, too hopped up on their own nerves not to giggle with anticipation or great relief after a big scare. Screams and laughs are the wine and cheese of any good horror movie, a perfect pairing, and Jordan Peele’s uncompromisingly cool Us comes boasting a delicious vintage of both.  Read More

post

HORROR MOVIES TO SCARE THE SH*T OUTTA US IN 2019

2019 is already off to a hot start when it comes to my favorite genre: horror. Between Gaspar Noe’s wrecking ball of a breakdown with Climax, the highly overlooked creeper The Prodigy, and Nicolas Pesce’s anti-love body horror cat and mouse game Piercing, 2019 is off to the races with fantastic offerings for the genre. Even the slight (and only tangentially horror) Happy Death Day 2 U was a fun theatrical distraction. But the year is long and the number of potential horror hits higher than ever. There is no doubt that a handful of these will be joining our countdown of the 100 greatest horror films of the decade come the end of the year. Check out the breakdown of what to expect for horror for the remainder of 2019.

Do note that this is not a comprehensive list of all 2019 horror movies to come as I’ve intentionally left off fare like the second untitled Annabelle sequel (first time director and a checkered past with the franchise has me thinking it won’t be very good) and The Curse of La Llora (the trailer was simply awful, hoping the film is much better.) Similarly I don’t have New Mutants on here (not convinced it’ll ever see the light of day at this point honestly) and the 47 Meters Down sequel (does not look inspired in the least bit). So don’t come after me.
Read More

post

Stylish, Surreal ‘PIERCING’ A Tempestuous Cat and Mouse Murder Game

A husband and father’s scheme to kill a prostitute goes wrong when she stabs herself first in Nicolas Pesce’s devilish Piercing. Pesce’s bloody adaptation of Ryū Murakami’s short Japanese novel of the same name is deeply sardonic in nature, a clever two-person play on that age-old “desperate man kills sex worker” trope that flips the script in deliciously dark manner. Picture American Psycho for millennials, with less business card panic attacks and more feminist subversion, and you’ll be somewhere in the right ballpark.  Read More

post

The 100+ Greatest Horror Films of the 2010’s

Love ’em or hate ’em, horror movies are more popular now than they have ever been. And for great reason. This decade has delivered a multitude of diverse horror options, smashing box office records, and even earning a slew of major awards nominations along the way. What’s more, the genre of late has taken a notable step forward out of the schlock, ceaseless sequels, and torture porn of the decade that preceded it and instead allowed fresh voices to give the genre a fresh coat of paint. Whether you prefer plain-ole slashers, psychological thrillers, sensual vampires, classic possessions, evil haunted houses, or even killer mermaids, the 2010s have delivered in spades. And then some. Read More

post

‘SUSPIRIA’ Remake a Horrifyingly Inauspicious Chore

A pretentious bore posing as high art, Suspiria is a stuffy dance horror melodrama that manages to make a murderous coven of ballet witches boring as sin. At two-and-a-half grueling hours, the film from Luca Guadagnino (Call Me by Your Name) is the most masturbatory of remakes, one that painfully tacks a superfluous hour of runtime onto the original without any added content. By the time Suspiria finally reaches its blood-soaked conclusion, I stood at such an emotional distance, with a countenance of such bored apathy, as to not even enjoy its macabre platter of dark ritual and liberal gore.  Read More

post

10 Best Horror Movies of the Decade (2010-Now)

Halloween is just around the corner so I decided to torture myself with doing a little listicling for all you wannabe scared-to-go-to-sleepers out there. And Sweet Satan was this process painstaking! Like poking flaming needles in my eyes while my ankles were hobbled by a split ax. Or something like that. I flipped, back-flipped, see-sawed, hemmed and hawed.. etc. As a horror movie aficionado, whittling an entire decade of my favorite genre down to a mere two-hands-worth of selections was Sophie’s Choice after Sophie’s Choice. With no Meryl Streep to help! Which is probably why the last time I did this, I ended up with 13 entries. And though some of these may seem like obvious entries or redundancies that you’ve seen before, I really haven’t seen anyone nail the best of the decade, so this is me putting my feet to the fire and throwing the cards out there. Read More

post

Out in Theaters: ‘HALLOWEEN’

The slasher subculture saw its heyday in the 1980s, with franchises like Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Nightmare on Elm Street accruing scores of harebrained sequels, spawning a pattern of rinse-repeat horror franchises that rarely held a candle to the greats in terms of turnover quality. Jason eventually went to outer space. Freddy Kruger broke the fourth wall. Michael Myers was revisioned as a force for utilitarian good, destined to kill all of Laurie’s family in order to save all of civilization. To say that these sequels haven’t always been so hot is quite the understatement. In 2018, director David Gordon Green (Pineapple Express) – of all people – has taken the governing principles of the slasher and given it new life through a winning combination of tasteful updates, tactful homage, and gleeful bloodletting and in doing so, he may have just perfected the slasher movie.  Read More

post

Out in Theaters: ‘THE HOUSE WITH A CLOCK IN ITS WALLS’ 

Kids meet Eli Roth. Eli Roth, kids. The horror auteur, infamous for torture porn cornerstone Hostel and – to a lesser degree – gooey meta-slasher Cabin Fever, takes to Amblin-produced PG material with surprising poise. Roth, who up to this point has strictly directed hard-R films, adapts the first of John Bellairs’ twelve-part children’s novels from the 1970s, The House With a Clock in its Walls, proffering a mostly family-friendly vision of dark witchcraft, haunted houses, and misfittery. The tale of woebegone wizardry may never fully clicks into place like the magical clock in its title but this Halloween-tinged creeper should fulfill paperback preteens looking for an age-appropriate spook. Read More

post

Out in Theaters: ‘MANDY’

If you’ve ever asked yourself “What the fuck did I just watch?” just wait until you get a load of Mandy. The avant-garde metal midnighter from Italian director Panos Cosmatos yields a phantasmagoric descent into hell itself, where none other than Nicholas Cage (in all his unhinged glory) plays a logger named Red Miller who hunts down an LSD-fueled Christian cult and a literal biker gang from hell to avenge the love of his life (Andrea Riseborough, rocking a heavy metal Shelley Duvall look) . Turns out, hell hath no fury like a Nicolas Cage scorned. Read More