post

‘MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON’ A Delightful and Subtly Profound Mediation on Life (As a Shell)

Compared to What?

In 2010, the world met Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, a tiny anthropomorphic shell fitted with even tinier pink shoes, a sole googly eye, and a can-do attitude. The short film featuring Marcel was an endearing mockumentary about the trials and tribulations of a single shell’s life. The eponymous character did things like drag a piece of lint around on a hair like a dog while saying, “A lint is a shell’s best friend.” The short garnered 11-million views on YouTube and a legitimate cult following. The enthusiastic shell with many a quotable one-liner became a household name and the original short eventually begat a few short sequels, a couple spin-off storybooks, and, well over a decade later, an actual movie.  Read More

post

‘CRIMES OF THE FUTURE’ Surgically Digs Into Society’s Bulging Guts

Surgery is the New Sex

The Canadian King of Venereal Horror, David Cronenberg, puts the perfectly bewildering capstone to his legacy of gross, mind-bending body horror with his latest feature Crimes of the Future. At once an exploration of the horrors of the post-post-modern human evolutionary track and a not-too-subtle cry for radical environmentalism, the 79-year old director’s latest stroke of squeamish cinema is a fitting encapsulation of the creator’s  entire demented body of work.   Read More

post

‘TOP GUN: MAVERICK’ Offers Peak Blockbuster Thrills, Exceeding Original On Every Front

Cruise. Control. 

A legacy sequel that could have easily been nothing more than unnecessary nostalgia bait, Top Gun: Maverick is instead a tour de force blockbuster that reminds us of the joys of watching movies at the theater. After two years of wondering what the future of in-person cinema would look like in a post-Covid era, the high-flying feature from director Joseph Kosinski (Oblivion, Only the Brave) recalls the aspirational magic of the theatrical experience by looking back at what came before while also graciously paving the path forward. Read More

post

Kafkatesque ‘MEN’ Favors Allegory, Mood Over Plot

Men? Meh.

If we feel pain, are we doomed to it? Writer-director Alex Garland’s latest film, Men, is plagued by this one idea: the cyclical, unwavering nature of pain and abuse. Jessie Buckley is Harper, a woman suffering. After a traumatic incident involving her former husband (Paapa Essiedu), Harper retreats to the English countryside to find some quiet away from the city and the life she shared with her ex. While she intends to give herself space for emotional healing, Harper instead finds an intrusive, hellish male community seemingly dead-set on breaking her down further. Events turns more weird, then utterly hellish. Read More

post

When Sam Raimi Lets Loose, ‘DOCTOR STRANGE IN THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS’ Is Pure Dark Magic. Otherwise, Meh.

Not Quite What the Doctor Ordered

The multitude of successes and failures of the larger MCU brand is put on full display with its most recent entry, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. The film directed by Spider-Man and Evil Dead director Sam Raimi, more than any other Marvel effort to date, underscores issues of creative overlording (Kevin Feige, master of the box office, checking in) that has long plagued the comic book production house. The push and pull between actual directorial style and ownership of said style and the larger corporatized Marvel Brand has never been so readily apparent in the finished product, resulting in one of Marvel’s most split-identity entries to date. One that also houses some of its most daring and dazzling segments across all of its 28 films and six Disney+ TV events. Read More

post

‘THE NORTHMAN’, A Life of Death

Heavy Metal 895

Robert Eggers finds the language of a movie before anything else. Drawing up the screenplay for The Witch, Eggers studied journals, diaries, and anything from the early days of American settlers that he could get his hands on. Through their particularly dated parlance, he crafted a haunting vision of religious fervor gone amuck in a haunted New England wood. For his sophomore feature, The Lighthouse, Eggers looked to the vernacular of folklore, myths, and seamen, spinning spittle-infused soliloquies about mariner curses on the 1890s high seas. His salty dialogue matched perfectly with Willem Dafoe’s wide-eyed delivery. With The Northman, Eggers pairs with Icelandic poet Sjón to find the language of the 9th century Nordic people. And their language is violence. Read More

post

Pointless ‘FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE’ Spends Last Shred of Goodwill on Political Allegory 

Avada Kedavra Beasts Franchise!

Grindewald runs for public office, the Dumbledore family tree expands, and Magizoologist Newt Scamander dances with dungeon scorpions in the absolutely pointless, painfully-dull, franchise-killing Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore. Series mainstay Katherine Waterston had the good sense to sit this one out and I wish I had as well. Read More

post

SXSW ’22: Mind-Blowing ‘EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE’ Is the Multiverse of Madness We Deserve

Everything Everywhere All At Once truly is the multiverse of madness that we deserve. Hilarious, utterly singular, and weirdly profound, Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheiner (aka “The Daniels”) have cooked up something wholly original with their martial-arts multiversal science-fiction story about a Chinese family that owns a laundry mat. A genius-level explosion of creativity that blends Wuxia sci-fi with the vast endlessness that is literally the spectrum of onscreen possibility, there’s is a film that borders on the insane and is never anything less than wowing. To say I had a smile plastered on my face the entire time would be to overlook that fact that everyone around me did as well. Read More

post

Soulless Video Game Adaptation ‘UNCHARTED’ A Cash Grab With Zero Charm

A black hole of charm, Sony’s Uncharted is the opposite of inspired. Everything about this lazy, expensive, haphazard adaptation of the popular Playstation exclusive reeks of assembly-line blockbuster manufacturing. For a wannabe franchise-launching starting block, one that clocks in with an aggressive $120 million dollar budget, Uncharted feels little more than a hack pastiche of adventure movie tropes, airlifted in from better treasure hunter films and spackled with a coat of snide Mark Wahlberg one-liners. It’s painful by virtue of just how adamantly risk-averse and paint-by-numbers just about everything on screen ends up being. Read More

post

Handsome, Dull ‘DEATH ON THE NILE’ Paddles Towards Predictability 

Death on the Nile begins with the origin story of Hercule Poirot’s (Kenneth Branagh) ridiculous mustache. His face was half-blown off in WWI you see, this facial deformity informing his older self’s reclusive and fussy nature. The overly coiffed, quadruple-pronged mustache was a cover up all along. A way to throw people off the scent of his great trauma and deep-seated pain. The detective, it seems, is indeed human after all. Surmising why the world-famous detective became who he is proves the best material in this sequel to 2017’s Murder on the Orient Express, a murder mystery that is otherwise haunted by an almost total lack of mystery.  Read More