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Out in Theaters: ‘THE WALK’

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A good 70% of The Walk is garbage. Between the hideous choice to have Phillipe Petit (Joseph Gordon Levitt putting on his best French accent) narrate his life story from the torch of a terribly-rendered CGI Statue of Liberty and the objectively ham-fisted dialogue that socks its themes on the nose as often as possible, The Walk is filled with delinquent script problems and even more face-palming directorial choices (a la endless narration from the f*cking Statue of Liberty). However when Petit mounts his wire, strung between the world’s tallest buildings and begins his walk, the problems fade like morning fog into a harrowing, white-knuckle sequence of sky-high daring that makes Evel Knievel himself look soft. But is that enough to account for the dumbed-down, borderline horribly executed set-up? Of course not. Read More

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Out in Theaters: ‘THE MARTIAN’

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Ridley Scott’s most mainstream-minded movie in years, The Martian is 80 percent more Apollo 13 than it is Duncan Jones’ similarly themed (but wholly superior) Moon. Like Moon, The Martian involves a Starman (David Bowie’s space anthem of the same name is used tremendously in Scott’s film) contending with crippling solitude and psychological tremors when he’s left for dead on Mars. Unlike Moon, the narrative is a straight-forward locomotive, employing the mantra “I think I can” to such a degree that you can be almost one hundred percent confident that everything is going to work out in the end. Read More

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‘SCREAM QUEENS’ “Chainsaw” Review

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2015 has been a pretty horrorshow year for horror television. Between the high-profile, high-production-value extended Slasher Flick of MTV’s Scream: The Series and Fox’s frankly hilarious horror/comedy Scream Queens, 2015 stands to be remembered as a gold standard year for the format, helping us all to move on from the mostly underwhelming snorefest that was True Detective Season 2 and the uncertainty in our hearts towards Fear The Walking Dead. Read More

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FEAR THE WALKING DEAD ‘Cobalt’ Review

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In which difficult choices are made; some “good guys” are not so good; some other “good guys” remain the same; things get smashed; and a mysterious new character is introduced. Things are coming to a head, as Fear The Walking Dead reaches its culmination. We’ve left the rules behind as the morality of this world are becoming a thing of the past; the ensemble is introduced to a new world of brutality. We’ll also find out what our characters are really made of and what the Army is really up to. Read More

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Blu-Ray Review: ‘COP CAR’

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Synopsis: “A corrupt small-town sheriff is on the hunt for two runaway kids who took his car on a joy ride in Cop Car. When a pair of 10-year-olds find an abandoned cop car in a field and take it for a joyride, it seems like they could kill themselves at any moment. But things only get worse when the small-town sheriff goes looking for his missing car—and the illicit cargo he left in the trunk—and the kids find themselves at the center of a deadly game of cat and mouse they don’t understand. The only way out is to go as fast as their cop car can take them.” Read More

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Watch New ‘THE REVENANT’ Trailer

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Bears, Leo, Hardy and the dude who directed Birdman. The Revenant has it all. As if that isn’t enough to get your panties in a bunch,  a new hot trailer is primed to make you regret not investing more time in finishing up that time machine so you could hop to December. Seriously Mr. Academy Award, just give this all the awards now. Read More

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Out in Theaters: ‘SICARIO’

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Amongst the best in its entire run, episode seven, season two of Breaking Bad, “Negro y Azul” sees decorated DEA agent Hank Schrader’s fated run-in with a Cartel informant known only as Tortuga (a perfect in the role Danny Trejo). The syndicate snitch assembles a wish list of “thank you” gifts from a SkyMall mag – the going rate for Cartel rats. Hank butts in, jeering Tortuga to hurry it along and dispense with the bullshittery, awaiting the familiar nods of approval he’s used to as big dog back in Albuquerque. A tidal wave of censure bears down on him like a face full of hot Champurrado; sodden scorn pours from the eyes of colleagues and the turtle-titled turncoat alike. Taken aback, Hank swallows the salty-but-sure fact that what may soar in the Northern-most stretch of American border comes to die here in the infertile Mexican desert. He’s a bald eagle, snatched up and spanked by the very red, white and blue claws that feeds him. Read More

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Documentary Dossier: ‘RACING EXTINCTION’

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Racing Extinction, Louie Psihoyos’ second documentary following 2009’s Academy Award winning The Cove, is a call to action regarding humanity’s role in the currently-unfolding extinction event. As various experts explain, we are living in the so-called Anthropocene epoch, named for the measurable effect of human beings’ behavior on the various life forms and habitats on earth.

I hesitated, at first, over whether to include “so-called” or any other indications of controversy surrounding the fact-claims of the film; there is some question, limited mostly to the far right in this country, of whether or not “global warming,” for example, exists, and further whether it is the result of our behavior, or simply a natural development; however, I’d rather not sport with your intelligence, fine readers, and I think we can get to what really matters: the quality of the film itself.
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Out in Theaters: ‘STONEWALL’

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Stonewall is the perfect example of a film whose subject I knew very little about going in (I welcome any scorn or derision aroused by this statement and deflect it with my proud shield of historical ignorance). Coming out of the film, I felt like I hadn’t learned much. My minor due diligence (Wikipedia to the rescue) reported that Stonewall was historical hallowed grounds; a staging area for the first major gay rights protests in the late 1960s. Positively glowing with awards potential, the Stonewall plot could have made for one of this year’s celebrated historic biographies. Rather, the film is decidedly more Newsies than Milk. Read More