Out in Theaters: ‘PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES’

May 23, 2017 by Matt Oakes Posted in Out in Theaters Tagged Brenton Thwaites, Espen Sandberg, Geoffrey Rush, Javier Bardem, Joachim Rønning, Johnny Depp, Kaya Scodelario, Pirates 5, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, Reviews 2 Comments

In Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, we find the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow in a drunken stupor. Washed up and officially deadbeat, even the price on Jack’s head has sunk to a paltry pound. It’s a strange parallel to Johnny Depp’s public persona of late, having slipped from the good grace of the hoi polloi after reports of his abusing wife Amber Heard made waves, followed by news of widespread financial woes and a slew of middling to poor films floundering at the box office. With Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, both Sparrow and Depp pray for a comeback. Read More

Out in Theaters: ‘THE SURVIVALIST’

May 18, 2017 by Matt Oakes Posted in Out in Theaters Tagged Martin McCann, Mia Goth, Olwen Fourere, Stephen Fingleton Leave a comment

Survival’s a bitch. Especially without food. The Survivalist‘s is a world of starvation. Between puffs on a harmonica and longing gazes at a photograph of a mysterious woman, our nameless protagonist, a wild-eyed, wilder-haired feral cat of a farmer, struggles to make do in a land where human populations have flamed out, spiraling after the crash of oil production, leaving in their wake a scourge of scavengers desperate for food and willing to go any lengths to get it. Read More

Out in Theaters: ‘ALIEN: COVENANT’

May 17, 2017 by Matt Oakes Posted in Out in Theaters Tagged Alien: Covenant, Billy Crudup, Danny McBride, Dante Harper, Guy Pearce, John Logan, Katherine Waterston, Michael Fassbender, Out in Theaters, Reviews, Ridley Scott 2 Comments

One thing’s for certain, Alien: Covenant is a Prometheus sequel. Ridley Scott doubles down on the 2012 prequel’s cerebral but ultimately sloppy storytelling, reveling in yet another cast of characters who make stupid decision after stupid decision in a misguided attempt to hoist ideology above character. In essence a film about discovering meaning, Prometheus failed to define its own, collapsing under the weight of its admirable ambition by throwing too much at the screen and having too little stick. By the end of that venture, everything remained a bit of a head-scratcher but Scott, for what it’s worth, attempts to make up for such here in Alien: Covenant. For its faults, Covenant brings the message of this deeply intertwined prequel series into focus here and its irreverent thesis is far darker than we might have anticipated: creation is nasty business. Our makers can be monsters. Gods and Devils are one and the same. Read More

Out in Theaters: ‘KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD’

May 9, 2017 by Matt Oakes Posted in Out in Theaters Tagged Aidan Gillen, Astrid Bergès-Frisbey, Charlie Hunnam, Djimon Hounsou, Guy Ritchie, James Herbert, Joby Harold, Jude Law, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, Kingsley Ben-Adir, Lionel Wigram, Michael McElhatton, Neil Maskell, Out in Theaters, Reviews 1 Comment

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword starts with elephants the size of castles and ends with snakes the size of rivers and there isn’t much sandwiched in between that’s any less ridiculous. A monochromatic mess replete with sketchy, video game-esque CGI and an often out of focus, mangled 3D conversion, Guy Ritchie’s bonkers fantasy film ditches the legend of the sword in the stone of yore for something that feels equally indebted to Heavy Metal and Shadow of Mordor cut scenes. Read More

Out in Theaters: ‘GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2’

May 3, 2017 by Matt Oakes Posted in Out in Theaters Tagged Bradley Cooper, Chris Pratt, Dave Baustista, James Gunn, Karen Gillan, Kurt Russell, Michael Rooker, Pom Klementieff, Vin Diesel, Zoe Saldana 2 Comments

Like the US government, the big whigs at Marvel have a sordid history of interventionism. Professed “creative differences” drove visionary Edgar Wright from Ant-Man, ran Patty Jenkins off Thor: The Dark World and kept Ava DuVernay at bay from Black Panther. The films in the MCU are larger than any standalone film; they must click and connect in complicated corporate webs, webs that have given us material such as the infamous Thor in a sauna scene in the widely forgotten Avengers: Age of Ultron. Which makes Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, a film written and directed by one man, James Gunn, such a wildly fresh breathe of air.
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Out in Theaters: ‘ANOTHER EVIL’

May 2, 2017 by Matt Oakes Posted in Out in Theaters Tagged Another Evil, Carson D. Mell, Dan Bakkedahl, Dax Flame, Horror, Jennifer Irwin, Mark Proksch, Out in Theaters, Reviews, Steve Zissis, SXSW 2016 1 Comment

Anyone who ever found themselves wishing for a cross section between The Cable Guy and The Exorcism, rejoice in thy ancient cursed tongues. Carson D. Mell’s supernaturally awkward brom-dram is a conjoined twin of ghost tale hula-hoops and male acquaintanceship hoopla. A batty genre-defying lark to its close, Another Evil deals with the clumsy delicacies of fledgling friendships weighed against the silly absurdities of cloven hoofs and blessed needles. Read More

Out in Theaters: ‘BELOW HER MOUTH’

April 25, 2017 by Matt Oakes Posted in Out in Theaters Tagged April Mullen, Below Her Mouth, Erika Linder, Natalie Krill, Out in Theaters, Reviews, Stephanie Fabrizi, Worst of 2017 Leave a comment

Inept romantic drama Below Her Mouth is awesomely bad. This next level cinematic scourge is a perfect confluence of ineptitude, a wholly pitiful effort defined by horrendous acting, terrible scripting and amateur direction that inspires any captive audience member to gawk in horror at its epic multitude of failures. In more ways than one, Below Her Mouth, which contains a whopping seven fully nude sex scenes in its first hour, finds pace with classic movie dumpster fire The Room in that it’s undeniably awful and yet you can’t look away from the cinematic implosion onscreen. Read More

Out in Theaters: ‘GHOST IN THE SHELL’

March 30, 2017 by Matt Oakes Posted in Out in Theaters Tagged Ghost in the Shell, Juliette Binoche, Michael Pitt, Out in Theaters, Pilou Asbaek, Reviews, Rupert Sanders, Scarlett Johansson 2 Comments

Controversy has plagued Ghost in the Shell since the day Hollywood “It” girl Scarlett Johansson was cast in the pole position. Adapted from a serialized Japanese manga of the same name, Ghost in the Shell tells the story of Major, a Japanese cybernetic counter-terrorist agent. Before anyone starts yelling “Whitewashing!”, it’s easy enough to see the problem lurking. Even those without a ton of processing power may be thinking to themselves, “Hey, but Scarlett Johansson isn’t Japanese…what gives?” Indeed, what gives? Johansson being the most bankable actress in the world, teeing her up to lead an effects driven potential franchise starter makes perfect sense. From a financial perspective, the move is logical. But… Read More

Out in Theaters: ‘RAW’

March 28, 2017 by Matt Oakes Posted in Most Popular, Out in Theaters Tagged Ella Rumpf, Garance Marillier, Horror, Jim Williams, Julia Docournau, Out in Theaters, Rabah Nait Oufella, Raw, Reviews 2 Comments

I suppose it’s fair to say Raw is not for everyone. Turns out a lot of the general populace don’t like subtitled French movies. Much less ones where humans gleefully feast on each another’s flesh. But let me tell you, Raw is every bit the toothy show-stopper that I wanted it to be. And much funnier. A familial politics drama smuggled inside a coming-of-age cannibal story, the feature debut from writer/director Julia Docournau tells the story of vegetarian veterinary student turned budding people-eater Justine (Garance Marillier) and is served up with all the fixin’s. To say I loved it would be an understatement. Read More

Out in Theaters: ‘LIFE’

March 23, 2017 by Matt Oakes Posted in Out in Theaters Tagged Ariyon Bakare, Daniel Espinosa, Hiroyuki Sanada, Jake Gyllenhaal, Jon Ekstrand, Life, Out in Theaters, Paul Wernick, Reviews, Rhett Reese, Ryan Reynolds 1 Comment

Life is deja vu. Not life itself mind you – let’s say that debate for the existentialist philosophers – but Life, the hacky, trashy alien thriller from director Daniel Espinosa. From a distance, the trailers for the film suggested a film that borrowed heavily from Ridley Scott’s treasured Alien but we’re all smart enough to know that trailers are just marketing tools, often constructed to stimulate nostalgia nodules to sell a product to audiences. So imagine my shock when Life was quite literally nothing less than a watered-down, unimaginative, worthless thieving of one of my favorite films of all time. Seriously, how in the actual fuck is this happening? Let’s examine. Read More