Soulless Video Game Adaptation ‘UNCHARTED’ A Cash Grab With Zero Charm

February 17, 2022 by Matt Oakes Posted in Out in Theaters Tagged Antonio Banderas, Mark Wahlberg, Out in Theaters, Reviews, Ruben Fleischer, Sophia Ali, Tati Gabrielle, Tom Holland, Uncharted 1 Comment

A black hole of charm, Sony’s Uncharted is the opposite of inspired. Everything about this lazy, expensive, haphazard adaptation of the popular Playstation exclusive reeks of assembly-line blockbuster manufacturing. For a wannabe franchise-launching starting block, one that clocks in with an aggressive $120 million dollar budget, Uncharted feels little more than a hack pastiche of adventure movie tropes, airlifted in from better treasure hunter films and spackled with a coat of snide Mark Wahlberg one-liners. It’s painful by virtue of just how adamantly risk-averse and paint-by-numbers just about everything on screen ends up being. Read More

‘ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP’ Is Mindless Zom-Com with Neither Bite Nor a Point

October 16, 2019 by Matt Oakes Posted in Out in Theaters Tagged Abigail Breslin, Dave Callaham, Emma Stone, Jesse Eisenberg, Luke Wilson, Out in Theaters, Paul Wernick, Reviews, Rhett Reese, Rosario Dawson, Ruben Fleischer, Thomas Middleditch, Woody Harrelson, Zoey Deutch, Zombieland 2, Zombieland: Double Tap Leave a comment

Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), Wichita (Emma Stone), and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin) have taken up residence in the White House to brave the lingering zombie apocalypse. Their days spent coiled like dragons atop stockpiles of munitions and supplies have led to a general sense of longing. For Tallahassee, it’s the road that’s calling. Witchita meanwhile can’t calm her fear of committment while Little Rock longs for a romantic companion of her own. It’s only the group nerd Columbus who seems to enjoy a sense of post-apocalyptic calm, probably because the apocalypse has afforded him the impossible scenario of hooking up with Emma Stone. When the ladies unexpectedly pack up and head out one night, Tallahassee and Columbus meet a new tagalong in Madison (Zoey Deutch) and brave the great zombieland unknown to reunite the group. Read More

Out in Theaters: ‘VENOM’

October 4, 2018 by Matt Oakes Posted in Out in Theaters Tagged Michelle Williams, Out in Theaters, Reviews, Riz Ahmed, Ruben Fleischer, Tom Hardy, Venom 3 Comments

An aimless, awful embarrassment for everyone involved, Venom imagines a world where a dopey Peter Parker-type was instead bitten by a radioactive turd. Creatively bankrupt filmmaking from top to bottom, Venom bows under the weight of an insufferable script, flat-out strange performances, and a mishmash tone that tries to levy the darkness of a character that waxes about snacking on eyeballs and fingers and livers in with scatalogical jokes that truly only the prepubescent in the audience would giggle along with. Read More