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Out in Theaters: ‘VENOM’

An aimless, awful embarrassment for everyone involved, Venom imagines a world where a dopey Peter Parker-type was instead bitten by a radioactive turd. Creatively bankrupt filmmaking from top to bottom, Venom bows under the weight of an insufferable script, flat-out strange performances, and a mishmash tone that tries to levy the darkness of a character that waxes about snacking on eyeballs and fingers and  livers in with scatalogical jokes that truly only the prepubescent in the audience would giggle along with. Read More

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Sony's Spiderman Universe Gets VENOM and SINISTER SIX Spinoffs

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The fellas over at Sony have been having a field day this month with their Spiderman properties. After the release of the latest trailer for The Amazing Spiderman 2, the interwebs stirred with spoiler discussions of what was to come next (as in, not this movie, but the movie after it). Hints towards both Vulture and Doc Ock suggested an eventual move towards a classic baddie collective that had fanboys flipping out like they were seeing The Avengers for the first time. From there, Sony further stirred the pot by releasing info that Spiderman himself, Andrew Garfield, was only signed for the first three Spiderman movies. As if that’s an actual conflict worthy of a story (the voices are telling me that that offer him… what is it?…more money! And then he signs! Lordie lordie!)

The latest announcement – standalone films for both The Sinister Six and Venom. Apparently Venom is a bit of an anti-hero in the comic books so his getting a standalone seems to make a modicum of sense (and has been something fans have pushed for for many, many years.) Few fell for Topher Grace‘s iteration of the iconic Spiderman enemy in Spiderman 3 so a reinvention of the character is a move that has been welcomely received. But while putting Venom in the spotlight might be a smart move, and a way to beef up this whole Expanded Universe thing that apparently every superhero movie in the world must do, the case for the Sinister Six sounds like a mess before it’s even started. I’m guessing they try some form of Avengers team-building but, assuming it doesn’t prominently feature Spiderman, I can’t imagine how they frame that film.

So, from my count, that makes four Amazing Spiderman movies on the platter with two spin offs and, don’t forget, the potential to have Spiderman join The Avengers (most likely for Avengers 7: Give Us All The Money). Superhero fatigue is trending like skinny jeans nowadays so I’ll save you the perfunctory sigh. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

“SPIDARMAN DREAMCASTING LIST!
Leonardo DiCaprio as Doc Ock,
Christian Bale
as Kraven the Hunter,
Tom Cruise
as Mysterio,
Ryan Gosling as Sandman,
JGL as Vulture,
Jaimee Foxx
as Electro.
How cool wood it b if all thez AMAZINBALLS acters played da SINSTER 6?! OMFG> LOLCATZ.”

Are you happy now?! Are you not entertained? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

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