post

Mo’ Monsters, Mo’ Problems in Moronic ‘GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS’

One of the chief complaints regarding the 2014 Gareth Evans-directed Godzilla reboot was the lack of screen time for the titular monster. The character for which the film was named famously only appeared on screen for about 8 minutes and some fans felt they got the short end of the stick when they plopped in their theater seats expecting all-out-monster mayhem. In the timeless tradition of cinematic call and response, Godzilla: King of the Monsters, as directed by Michael Dougherty of Trick ‘r Treat and Krampus fame, takes that complaint baton and sprints blindly the other direction, delivering a movie that is packed to the gills with fussy monsters and cityscape destruction porn but remains an exhausting and brain-numbing eyesore nonetheless.  Read More

post

Out in Theaters: ‘THE FINAL GIRLS’

The premise for The Final Girls – a group of teens are inexplicably sucked into a slasher movie and must survive its 92 minute runtime in hopes of returning to their world – is questionable to say the least. One might think to find such a movie buried deep down in and amongst the filth of Netflix; hidden amongst those low-budget wanna-be’s masquerading as the real deal. It doesn’t take the aid of Sherlock to prove that this is not the case. Not only is The Final Girls not atrocious, it’s rather excellent. As in, it’s goddamn righteous. Read More