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Salty Grandpa Recounts a Life of Killing in Scorsese’s Opus ‘THE IRISHMAN’

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: a gangster walks into a nursing home. Priest says to the gangster, “Unburden yourself, my child.” Gangster says, “But Father, I ain’t got no burdens.” “But of course you must,” the Holy Man states, “You’ve spent a lifetime murdering people. Burning businesses. Threatening men of all stripes. You’ve deprived wives of their husbands, children of their fathers.” “But I didn’t even know the families,” the grizzled old gangster mews. “So you don’t feel sorry for any of it?” the clothed man pushes. The old shriveled meat-bag of a man shrugs, ”I guess I do have one regret…”  Read More

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‘CHARLIE’S ANGELS’ Reboot Delivers Fluffy Girl-Powered Fun and Peak Kristen Stewart

Who knew that Kristen Stewart could have this much fun? Whether she’s whipping her body around the dance floor or head butting Tinder dates in the kisser, K-Stew is straight lit. She’s scorching hot. As on fire as a Flaming Doctor Pepper. And it’s good to bask in the heat. The Twilight alum has spent the last decade reshaping public perception of her acting chops, starring in dramatic and critically-acclaimed Films with a capital F. Most notably through her partnership with Olivier Assayas in Clouds of Sils Maria and Personal Shopper, Stewart has become an actress of high repute and though she’s yet to land herself any kind of Oscar nomination, her star has risen from blockbuster starlet with a Razzie nom to respectable leading lady whose projects are worth seeking out through her association alone. For what seems like the first time in probably ever, the many sides and talents of Stewart come to a head in Charlie’s Angels, a cutesy and shallow fun time that would allow the actress the chance to let her hair down had she not cropped it short. Even so, Stewart is here to shake it off and actually have some fun. And boy what a show she puts on.  Read More

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Shia LaBeouf Excises Demons In Emotionally Raw ‘HONEY BOY’

Everyone seems to have an opinion about Shia LaBeouf, the child-star turned Transformers/Crystal Skull actor turned Hollywood bad boy. But regardless of what you think you think, anyone who checks out Honey Boy, a revealing and emotionally turbulent tell-all written by and starring LaBeouf, will come out wanting to reach through the screen and deliver a big Shia hug.  Read More

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Bone Dry Procedural ’THE REPORT’ Values Facts Over Emotion

From longtime Steven Soderberg collaborator and writer/director Scott Z. Burns, The Report is a well-researched and competently constructed journalistic procedural that lacks in human emotion. Very much in a similar vein as movies like Spotlight and All the President’s Men, but lacking their towering sense of immediacy and tension, Burns’ film values objectivity and nonpartisanship most highly, allowing little room for things like a heartbeat or even the cinematic thrills customary with similar dramatic procedurals.  Read More

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‘MARRIAGE STORY’ Is a Heartbreaking Depiction of Love Ending (That’s Especially Traumatic for Divorce Kids)

“What’s the opposite of a fiancée?” Scarlett Johansson’s Nicole muses, trying to find the right word to describe her soon-to-be ex-husband Charlie (Adam Driver). She doesn’t really want to still call him her husband, because that ship has clearly sailed. But nor is he an ex yet either. There’s a lack of finality to their relationship. Unsigned paperwork. Unfought legal battles. Unclaimed wreckage from what was once a marriage.  Read More

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Contemplative and Dour ‘DOCTOR SLEEP’ Deserves the Patience it Requires 

39 years ago, Stanley Kubrick played a game of chicken with Stephen King’s novel “The Shining”, redefining the term “loose adaptation” as he bent the source material to his will. In the process, Kubrick created not just one of the greatest horror films of all time but one of the very best films regardless of genre. Ever an industry maverick, Kubrick swung an axe at King’s IP (“Here’s Johnny” indeed), hacking the story into one more befitting the film medium and his own vision. This meant stripping away the more abject supernatural horrors (though there’s no shortage of rotting bathers and ghost furry lifestylers) and replacing them Jack Torrence’s descent into catacombs of his own inner madness.  Read More

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Fearlessly Silly Nazi Satire ‘JOJO RABBIT’ is Soul-Cleansing and Good-Spirited 

As seemingly improbable as Schindler‘s List with an added laugh track or Wes Anderson’s Moonrise Kingdom subbing in Hitler Youth for Boy Scouts, Taika Waititi’s Jojo Rabbit’s very premise is a bold thought experiment: how do you make modern audiences (notoriously sensitive modern audiences, that is) comfortable laughing at WWII-era Nazism? How do you get them to sympathize with literal Nazi characters? And, maybe most importantly, how do you do all this without getting the endorsement of literal modern-day Nazis?  Read More

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Imperfect ‘TERMINATOR: DARK FATE’ a Welcome Return to Franchise Fun 

After preventing Judgement Day, Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) has kept herself sharp throughout the years. Hunting the spare Terminator already en-route to various time periods from a defeated SkyNet program( that no longer exists) (it’s less complicated than that seems, I promise)) has become Sarah’s all-consuming purpose since she saved the world, but lost her son John Connor in the process, so many years ago. Her tinfoil hat lifestyle is thrown its biggest challenge in decades when two denuded future beings arrive in shimmering blue balls; one an enhanced human named Grace (Mackenzie Davis), the other a highly advanced Terminator, a Legion Rev-9 series played by Gabriel Luna.  Read More

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Body Cam Cop Thriller ‘BLACK AND BLUE’ Doesn’t Capture Greatness

What could have and should have been a lean mean socially-relevant cop thriller turns to indulgent putty in the hands of director Deon Taylor (The Intruder, Meet the Blacks.) Black and Blue hangs on but a single idea, one that James Moses Black’s Officer Brown conveys to his fellow pigmented protagonist Alicia West (Naomie Harris) early on in the film, “You’re not black anymore. You’re blue.” Meaning, the rookie cop should now identify as police, not African-American, because that is how the world sees her now. In the world Taylor creates, black and blue don’t mix.  Read More

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‘GREENER GRASS’ a WTF Explosion of Boundless Weirdness and Creativity 

Jocelyn DeBoer and Dawn Luebbe have done it. They have made the weirdest, most inexplicable, indescribable film of 2019. And I kinda love it. The pair write, direct, and star in Greener Grass, a feature-length adaptation of their 2015 of the same name, fulfilling a hole in the market for those craving a mighty scoop of WTF in with their satirical entertainment. The result is like if Yorgos Lanthimos directed an episode of Sesame Street, a highly-mannered bizarro world where citizens battle self-preservation instincts in order to appease faux-friendly neighbors.  Read More