Out in Theaters: ‘IN A VALLEY OF VIOLENCE’

October 18, 2016 by Matt Oakes Posted in Out in Theaters Tagged Burn Gorman, Ethan Hawke, In a Valley of Violence, James Ransone, John Travolta, Karen Gillian, Out in Theaters, Reviews, Taissa Farmiga, Ti West Leave a comment

If you had told me that John Travolta would comeback from his recent Academy Award persona butchery (2014’s “Adele Dazeem”, 2015’s repulsively awkward Scar-Jo sneak-a-kiss) by playing a sand-blasted moral compass in a Ti West Western (a Western, it must be noted, that is of the genre through and through, absent of the horror flair that has, up to this point, characterized the filmmaker’s oeuvre), I woulda spit my cud. But Travolta is as present for In a Valley of Violence as it is a corn-fed, all-American, organically certified Western. Consider my head scratched. Read More

SXSW ’16 Review: ‘IN A VALLEY OF VIOLENCE’

March 18, 2016 by Matt Oakes Posted in Festival Reviews Tagged Burn Gorman, Ethan Hawke, In a Valley of Violence, James Ransone, John Travolta, Karen Gillian, Reviews, SXSW 2016, Taissa Farmiga, Ti West, Western Leave a comment

All the Oscar Winners Names Travoltaized

March 6, 2014 by Matt Oakes Posted in Film Editorials Tagged 2014 Oscars, Idina Menzel, John Travolta

After butchering Idina Menzel‘s name during the Oscars (fact: her name is not “Adele Dazeem”), John Travolta has seen a noted bump in his celebrity. As hordes of people have taken to the inter webs to have their names John Travoltaized, the nation and the world has joined forces to take pot shots at a washed-up (can’t we call him that now?) superstar and bask in the glory of our own colloquial superiority. Whether he suffers an actual learning disability and we’re collectively mocking a dyslexic person or if Travolta merely forgot his spectacles, it’s still “gorgeously empowering” to mock this “wickedly talented” star. Here he is, pronouncing the names of Menzel’s fellow Oscar winners. So strap on your best John Travolta impersonation and give these a go in all in your most affected and staccato drawl.

Best Supporting Actor: Jared Leto = “The momentously inspiring, Joey Larta“

Best Actor: Matthew McConaughey = “The unparalleled and inimitable, MacArthur Gattahew“

Best Supporting Actress: Lupita Nyong’o = “The stirringly animated O’yanga Tapiola“

Best Actress: Cate Blanchett = “The refreshingly candid Blanche Catitt“

Best Director Alfonso Cuaron = “The touchingly sincere Usef Calarosa“

Best Original Screenplay: Spike Jonze = “The bona-fidely vivacious Jonsey Pike“

Best Adapted Screenplay: John Ridley = “The awesomely artistic “Red Johnny” Li“

Best Cinematography: Emmanuel Lubezki = “The brilliantly uplifting Zamuel K. Manuel“

BONUS: Best Picture: 12 Years a Slave = “12 Salves a Year“

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Worst Case Scenario Casting for STAR WARS VII

March 6, 2014 by Chris Bunker Posted in Casting News Tagged Adam Driver, Adam Sandler, Episode VII, J.J. Abrams, John Travolta, Kevin Hart, Star Wars, Zac Efron

“The horror…the horror.“

According to recent reports, Zac Efron has (maybe-potentially-hopefully-not) been in discussions with Director J.J. Abrams regarding potential casting in Star Wars: Episode VII. This, following earlier news this week that Adam Driver is set to portray a Sith Lord in the newest Disney-sponsored saga. For anyone who’s seen Efron’s work—most recently That Awkward Moment, quite possibly the year’s worst film to date—this could spell disaster for the film, which already seems like it’s on a galactic crash course. At least this isn’t the worst possible casting, as it certainly could be worse. Here are some actors we definitely don’t want to see anywhere near this trilogy.

1. Kevin Hart

With Abrams’ reboot, there certainly will be creatures of all shapes and sizes floating through hyperspace. Let’s hope Kevin Hart, nuisance personified, isn’t one of them. He’s everywhere these days. He’s like the force, a constant presence you don’t see but definitely feel; you couldn’t escape him if you tried. Whether it’s terrible movies (recent examples: Ride Along, Grudge Match, and Think Like a Man), the NBA All-Star Celebrities’ Game, or all over BET, KHart has burned himself into the intergalactic rolodex. Though it would be funny to see him bouncing around with a lightsaber, this shouldn’t happen in any dimension.

2. Adam Sandler

Adam Sandler hasn’t made anything worthwile since 2002, and pretty much everything he touches turns to space junk. It would help if he were still funny, but that Sandler is in a galaxy far far way. Just imagine Sandler trying to fly the Millenium Falcon. And really, how many roles would he play? It’d be great to see him play Chewbacca, Han Solo, Leia and Luke simultaneously. We beg you, Adam Solo, stay away.

3. John Travolta

Is it wrong that I think it would be aweseome if John Travolta was brought into the Star Wars galaxy? How many names would he mispronounce? So much intentional comedy would ensue with Travolta trying to pronounce “midichlorians” (mardiacloritis) and “Dagobah” (Deborawr). Okay, maybe this one should happen. Get on it Abrams, you’re our only hope!

It remains to be seen how the rest of the cast will be filled out as production starts in April. With Star Wars: The Clone Wars Season 6 set to release Friday, and all the castings sure to come out in the next month, this is sure to be a force-filled March. As Travolta would say: Mary the frost be wart yew.

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