After being forced out of their Colombian homeland by political unrest, the Madrigal family is blessed with magical gifts. When they come of age, each member of the family is granted a unique power; Luisa (Jessica Darrow) has the strength of a titan; Isabela (Diane Guerrero) summons flowers to beautify anywhere and everywhere; Julieta (Angie Cepeda) heals physical ailments with her culinary treats; and Bruno (John Leguizamo) sees visions of the future. Mirabel (Stephanie Beatriz) is the only member of the Madrigal family who was not granted a magical power. The natural consequence of this is that she’s seen as a bit of a familial outsider, especially from the judgmental Abuela Alma (María Cecilia Botero) but her spirits remain high. When the family’s powers unexpectedly flicker and fade, Mirabel takes it upon herself to bring the family together and save the magic before it’s too late. Read More
‘JUNGLE CRUISE’ Charters a Noisy, Pun-Fueled Trip Down Familiar Waters
What to say about Jungle Cruise, Disney’s latest attempt to mine existing IP for franchise potential and big box office ducats, that isn’t already implied by its existence? For all intents and purposes, the movie is fine. An unremarkable, CGI-heavy “throwback” to the swashbuckling serials of the 1920’s, Jungle Cruise doesn’t hide its obvious aspirations to turn a Disneyland ride into another major media franchise a la Pirates of the Caribbean. The result is filmmaking as pure commerce, the beancounters at the House of Mouse barely containing their cynicism for audiences who see marquee names and a decently cut trailer and rush to cinemas (or, now, Disney+) to trade in their hard earned dollars for 127 minutes of chiseled, forgettable fantasy-adventure mediocrity. Read More
Devilishly Fashionable ‘CRUELLA’ Sees Emma Stone Break Bad On the Catwalk
Turning any iconic Disney villain into a sympathetic (but still devious) protagonist is no easy feat, particularly when that task involves ‘both sides’ of turning 101 Dalmatian puppies into haute couture. Disney’s atrocious Maleficent origin story wholly bungled the task, dropping the bag on transforming that striking villain into a whole-cloth anti-hero, instead defanging and deflating the malevolent fairy, leaving her all but unrecognizable, costume aside. With Cruella, Disney course-corrects on that previous failing, striking the right balance between exploring the roots of its devilish protagonist while still remaining true to her animated rancorous counterpart. Read More
‘RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON’ Is Disney Dominance on Autopilot
For the better part of a century, Disney has been carefully formulating a template for blockbusting success. Churning out mega-hit after mega-hit on a semi-annual basis is no happy accident and the family-friendly behemoth has gotten that formula down pat – they’ve even exported it to the god-knows-how-many subdivisions of their corporate content creation stations. But going into any Disney animated movie specifically, you have a basic idea of what to expect: there will be a brave, slightly defiant female protagonist who doesn’t quite fit in with her community; an unbearably cute little animal sidekick who manages to be snarky even if they can’t talk; a quest to restore a kingdom; and a dead parent or two. You can never forget about the dead parent bit. Read More
‘MULAN’ Remake Trailer Promises a Fresh Take on Disney’s Woman Warrior Saga
2019 delivered three Disney live-action remakes, Dumbo, Aladdin, and Lion King, and all three were big old failures in my book. This despite the fact that they made jaw-dropping amounts of cash at the international box office. If this latest look at Mulan is any indication of things going forward, perhaps the studio has found a way forward without going the whole literal shot-for-shot remake route. Directed by New Zealand filmmaker Niki Caro (Whale Rider) and starring a Chinese cast including Liu Yifei as Mulan, martial arts master Donnie Yen as Commander Tung, Yoson An as love interest Chen Honghui, Tzi Ma as Mulan’s father and Jet Li (yes, that Jet Li) and the emperor of China. Read More
Darker ‘FROZEN II’ Feels Like A Solid, Really Expensive Straight-to-DVD Sequel
For the vast majority of their existence as a company, Disney has sent sequels straight to home video, usually in some off-colored VHS package you’d find facedown at the discount bin in some Walmart or other. Prior to Ralph Wrecks the Internet, the only Disney sequel that ended up in an actual theater was 1990’s The Rescuers Down Under. Sequelitis simply was not the corporate mandate of the time. Not in the 40’s Golden Era or the 90’s Renaissance. That one exception aside, Disney Animation has long been in the original content game (debates about how original their Disney Princess collection actually is aside) but with the one-two punch of Ralph deus and Frozen II, expect to get a lot more sequels to Disney’s massive moneymaking franchises in the coming future. Forget Prince Charming, it’s time to bow down to King IP. Bob Iger’s mandate is cold hard cash, hand over foot. Thankfully, if the sequels are anything like Chris Buck and Jennifer Lee’s Frozen II, franchise-thirsty fans from Virginia to Vietnam are probably all in decent-enough hands showing up in droves to shell out to their Disney overlords. Read More
‘THE LION KING’ Doesn’t Have An Original Bone in its Stunningly Photorealistic Body
Not a lot of films have found success at the multiplexes this summer with franchise entries like Godzilla: King of the Monsters, Dark Phoenix and Men in Black: International crashing and burning at the global box office. What with their iron grip over Marvel (Avengers: Endgame, Spider-Man: Far From Home), Pixar (Toy Story 4) and a catalogue of classic animated films like Aladdin and Dumbo ripe for live action remakes at their disposal, Disney has kept their head above flood waters, saving the AMCs and Regals of the world from becoming desolate, sticky wastelands of stale popcorn kernels and cola syrup. Disney is a king of their domain. And that domain is business. And business is good. Read More
Disney’s Lifeless ’ALADDIN’ Remake is the Opposite of Art
As far as I’m concerned, Aladdin is the worst movie of the year. There is not one ounce of artistic value in this soiled remake ostensibly from director Guy Ritchie (The Man From U.N.C.L.E.), not one element that was not a clunky and borderline offensive down step from the original 1992 animated film, no attempt to refurbish the material and put any semblance of fresh spin on it. This is “filmmaking” as black magic – the result of someone burying the original Aladdin V/H/S in a Pet Sematary, its shambling resurrected corpse showing up on marquees pretending to be a real movie. Read More
Tim Burton’s Creatively Bankrupt ‘DUMBO’ Doesn’t Take Flight
As told by Tim Burton, Disney’s Dumbo is a glossy kiddo-approved spectacle piece sure to entertain the youngins in the audience while offering no reason for its existence beyond the plain-faced cry for box office chowder. Adapting the 1941 story of a circus elephant whose oversized ears enables him to fly, Burton and screenwriter Ehren Kruger (Ghost in the Shell) co-opt the basic premise of the original tale and fluff out the barebones story with a cast of uninteresting human characters and a corporate subplot that offers a kids a warning about bad employers and carefully reading contracts. Read More
‘RALPH BREAKS THE INTERNET’ a Sporadically Clever, Nostalgia-Bombed Delight
This November, families have a chance to decide between two cartoon villains to treat their kids to. Illumination Entertainment’s The Grinch, a perfectly affable and admittedly adorable – if toothless – remake of the Dr. Seuss classic, and Disney’s Ralph Breaks the Internet. A sequel to 2012’s critical and commercial success Wreck-It Ralph, the follow-up directed by Phil Johnson and Rich Moore (Zootopia) reacquaints us with Ralph’s 8-bit world, wherein he happily stars as a stocky bad guy in an arcade game called Fit-It Felix, content as a clam in his closed-loop routine. Read More