Death on the Nile begins with the origin story of Hercule Poirot’s (Kenneth Branagh) ridiculous mustache. His face was half-blown off in WWI you see, this facial deformity informing his older self’s reclusive and fussy nature. The overly coiffed, quadruple-pronged mustache was a cover up all along. A way to throw people off the scent of his great trauma and deep-seated pain. The detective, it seems, is indeed human after all. Surmising why the world-famous detective became who he is proves the best material in this sequel to 2017’s Murder on the Orient Express, a murder mystery that is otherwise haunted by an almost total lack of mystery.

Returning again to the director’s chair, Branagh fastidiously adapts Agatha Christie’s 1937 detective fiction, double-crosses, red herrings, predictable suspects, and all. Working from a script penned by the malleable Michael Green (Orient Express, Logan, Blade Runner 2049), Death on the Nile is more invested in tone and atmosphere than actually obscuring the mystery at its center, doing a half-decent job of giving shape to its thorough stockade of slippery suspects while plopping them in an almost astoundingly simple tale of murder.

As is the sticking point with most murder mystery movies, the cast is brimming with A-list talent. Gal Gadot steps into the shoes of just-married heiress Linnet Ridgeway, fearing for her life whilst on her honeymoon; the now-controversial Armie Hammer features as her infatuated lover Simon Doyle; Emma Mackey is Simon’s bereaved ex-lover Jacqueline de Bellefort; Tom Bateman appears as Bouc, a grown-up rich kid with mommy issues opposite Annette Bening as his commandeering mother; Letita Wright, also controversy-plagued of late, plays headstrong promoter Rosalie Otterbourne to her lounge singer mother Salone Otterbourne (Sophie Okonedo).

Russel Brand also appears, less his signature shaggy look, as the ex-finance of Linnet Ridgeway. The cast impresses to a degree but none of the characters are given the space to be much more than thinly-written archetypes. Most of whom are obnoxiously weathly. Branagh very much remains the star throughout and though Poirot is given a little more shade and depth as a character – especially contrasted against his co-stars – Branagh performance remains a bit showy, artificial. There’s humanity peeking out from beneath the facade of capital-A acting but it’s not enough to elevate this homicidal genre picture into captivating character drama.

Every one is a suspect for some reason or other but it’s pretty plain to see who is responsible from the get go, the pieces falling into place for anyone observant enough to catch a certain off-hand comment or two that directs us right to the decoder at the center of this whole sordid affair. Simply – it doesn’t make a veteran detective to crack this case. If one’s engagement with this type of murder mystery material is limited to just how easily the mystery at its center is solved, The Death on the Nile doesn’t pack much in the way of inscrutability. However, you may feel the wiser for having cracked the case so easily.

From a production standpoint, Death on the Nile boasts sumptuous costumery, eye-catching hair and makeup, and handsome, era-appropriate production design. The Egyptian backdrops stretch credulity at times, Branagh’s occasional use of CGI becoming oh-too-noticeable every now and then. Largely, his feature is fine to look at, especially as populated by such a striking cast, but the filmmaking is too often static, lacking energy. There’s nothing distinctive or alive in Branagh’s directorial choices. The most notable choice he makes is the black-and-white flashback the opens the film and even that seems like a holdover from his work on the critically-acclaimed Oscar nominee Belfast.

I have no doubts that there is an audience from whom Death on the Nile is a ready-made delight, who will gladly gobble up this throwback tale of deadly wrongdoings and murder most foul on the Nile River. I have my suspicions though that those adoring audiences will be of the elder variety. I have no doubt that your grandparents will adore this – and that doesn’t take much deduction to figure out. Death on the Nile and Branagh’s wider Christie-verse just feels of a different era. It’s patient and subtle; a straight-forward paperback mystery in movie form. Leaning on a parade of recognizable names and Christie’s classic tactics to do the heavy lifting without bringing anything truly distinguishable to the table, Death on the Nile just feels unremarkable. The antonym of bold. And like many of the suspects in the film acting the part but riddled with their own shortcomings, Death on the Nile has the window dressings, just not the meat.

CONCLUSION: Kenneth Branagh’s latest ho-hum potboiler benefits from an impressive cast – though he doesn’t quite know what to do with them all – while unwinding a murder mystery that lacks in the actual mystery department. Slightly better than the first outing but still entirely forgettable and mostly intended only for Agatha Christie purists.