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GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Trailer Rockets Online

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If you ever wanted to see Andy Dwyer, the Hulk’s little sister, StarFox (er, StarCoon?), and a teenage Treebeard team up to wage a battle of galactic proportions, then you might want to check out the first trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy that released earlier tonight.

Marvel’s latest brand integration venture is based on a comic series written by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning that first ran in 2008. Guardians of the Galaxy follows a team of five outcasts as they find themselves accidentally caught in a cosmos-bending conflict after stealing a powerful orb from some evil maestro named Ronan the Accuser.

Coming off recent successes in The Lego Movie and Spike Jonze’s Her, Chris Pratt plays Peter Quill (the self-titled “Space-Lord”), a drunkard American thief who doesn’t seem to take anything seriously. He’s joined by Zoe Saldana in green body-paint, Bradley Cooper voicing a space raccoon, WWE fighter Dave Bautista, and Vin Diesel, who plays an extraterrestrial plant monster (colloquially known as a “tree”).

If those names weren’t enough to catch your interest, then maybe John C. Reilly, Glenn Close, Karen Gillan and Benicio Del Toro acting in supporting roles will. Even Lee Pace joins in as the story’s villain, continuing his recent trend of distempered characters.

Judging from the trailer, Guardians of the Galaxy has potential for some good laughs and jackassery. James Gunn directs what looks to be a crass, CGI-filled romp that will at least hold your attention until Avengers: Age of Ultron releases next year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTZ2Tp9yXyM

Guardians of The Galaxy is directed by James Gunn and stars Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Bradley Cooper, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel, John C. Reilly, Glenn Close, Karen Gillan, Benicio Del Toro and Lee Pace. It’ll start maings boatloads of money starting August 1, 2014.

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Jeans Creaming Trailer for GAME OF THRONES Season 4

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Let’s be honest, if you haven’t yet seen Game of Thrones, you’re so far out of the pop-nerd zeitgesit that you might as well have never even heard of Breaking Bad. So I’ll be approaching this article assuming that you know what’s up on HBO’s most popular show. That means spoilers. After the character-killing events of season three, GoT’s fourth season is tasked with tracking the fallout of last season while moving the show into new territory. But even with Ned, Catelyn, and King of the North Robb Stark dead, as Jaime remarks, the war is not yet won.

This first look at the next season heavily features the Lannisters and those of us who’ve read the books know why. There’s some big waves headed towards that sneaky, debt-paying family, a fact made clear seeing series favorite Tyrion in handcuffs. Let’s just say there’s some massive events coming this season, a fact that may make season four even more shocking than the ol’ Red Wedding.

With book three, “A Storm of Swords”, cut in half, this fourth season will play out the events of the second half of George R.R. Martin‘s 1512-page novel. So before you start fretting about which characters will meet their end in this highly anticipated next segment of the Song of Ice and Fire franchise, take a peek at this chillingly epic trailer.

April 6 just can’t come soon enough.

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Tatum and Hill Return for 22 JUMP STREET Trailer

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Coming from someone who has never seen 21 Jump Street, the new red band trailer for its sequel 22 Jump Street kind of makes me want to watch it. Starting off with a very self-aware speech by their captain, played by Nick Offerman, which winks at the audience, as if to say, “We know comedy sequels are a little ridiculous,” the trailer explains the arbitrary reason for the new title. This time they have to infiltrate a college, instead of a high school, but the premise is more-or-less the same as the first.

Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum are set to return, accompanied by Ice Cube, to relive their glory days and search out a drug dealer of sorts. The intriguing thing about the perspective these films take is looking at the college or high school film genre, through the eye of someone older. It serves as a deconstruction that we take part in, as people who have been through those institutions and know that their Hollywood representations are mostly bullshit. A fish out of water story, mixed with action, mixed with a meta-genre commentary, will hopefully make this an enjoyable sequel, as long as they don’t fall into the Hangover trap.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06rvPK8ydZo

22 Jump Street is directed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller and stars Channing Tatum, Nick Offerman, Jonah Hill, and Ice Cube. It hits theaters on June 13, 2014

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Christopher Nolan Teases With INTERSTELLAR Trailer

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Few directors garner as much hype as Christopher Nolan these days. His skill at straddling the line between being interesting enough for thoughtful film-goers and stupid enough to make everyone else feel smart, has garnered him a great reputation with audiences and made him a safe bet for studios. For roughly the past year, the only info on his upcoming project, aside from some casting news, has been the name. After watching the first teaser for Interstellar, we don’t know much more.  The synopsis reveals that it will have something to do with space travel and wormholes. Thank you, Chris, for not showing us the whole movie yet.

Showing footage of some of humanities greatest achievements, Matthew McConaughey narrates, implying that we have lost the ambition that drove us to such great heights. He is shown driving through a field at the end, looking determined.

It is nice to see Nolan breaking away from his usual suspects here, casting McConaughey (who has been nothing but fantastic for the past few years), Anne Hathaway, Casey Affleck, John Lithgow, and Ellen Burstyn. Michael Caine is the only Nolan regular here. Look forward to likely seeing another Nolan hit next November. 

Interstellar is directed by Christopher Nolan and stars Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway, and Casey Affleck. It hits theaters November 7th 2014.

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Mech Suit Tom Cruise Groundhog Daying It in EDGE OF TOMORROW Trailer

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If Groundhog Day was a sci-fi action flick, it would look something like the newly released trailer for Bourne director Doug Liman’s film Edge of Tomorrow. Tom Cruise will find himself living the same day over and over again, amidst some sort of alien war, increasing his skills a little bit at a time. The basic premise is nothing new as four or five Star Trek episodes come immediately to mind. But depending on how Liman approaches the subject matter, this looks to have great potential.

 

The trailer calls back a newly re-popularized Blomkampesque aesthetic, which creates a sort of gritty, dystopian feel, similar to the original Terminator. Instead of being attacked, it seems that the humans are the invaders. Having only a small glimpse of the aliens in the trailer, leads us to think that either Liman is saving it all for the big screen, or trying to deliberately draw attention to the propagandic dehumanization of the aliens, similar to Starship Troopers.  

No matter what point the film tries to make, this plot is nothing new. Tom Cruise will live this day repeatedly, until he kicks ass. Hopefully, the film draws out some social commentary and doesn’t just turn into a dumb action movie. But until it’s release on June 6, 2014, we can only guess. 

Edge of Tomorrow is directed by Doug Liman and stars Tom Cruise, Emily Blunt, and Bill Paxton. It hits theaters June 6, 2014.

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GODZILLA Returns to the Big Screen In Style, Watch the Provocative First Trailer

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Ever since last year’s Comic Con, fanboys have been going nutso for the upcoming Godzilla reboot. And while many, myself included, didn’t understand where all this enthusiasm was coming from, looking back at the history of the monster icon reveals why he’s had such a massive cultural impact throughout the world.

Originally made in Japan, 1954, Godzilla was a dressed up metaphor for nuclear warfare, achieved by a mostly immobile man dressed up like a monster in a big green latex suit. Since the 50s, Godzilla has been on a continuous silly streak, battling other big baddies like Mothra (literally just a big moth) and King Kong and has since had a run, backed by Japanese production studio Toho, that sees minor Godzilla movies ever couple years. At this point, there are 30 official Toho Godzilla films.

Roland Emmerich re-imagined Godzilla for American audiences, in his 1998 film that takes the name of the monster, as a big preggo lizard to not so glowing results. Gareth Edwards looks to right that wrong with a much more classic take on the Godzilla design.

With a cast that includes Bryan Cranston, Elizabeth Olsen, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Juliette Binoche and Ken Watanabe, Edwards seems to be on the right track and this first trailer does exactly what a trailer should (but nowadays hardly ever does) – it teases. Instead of giving away the events of the first, second, and third act, it drops us into the situation and let’s us see the horror, confusion, and madness for ourselves. Surely, this doesn’t mean that Godzilla will be a guaranteed layup but it looks far better than I would have first thought.

Take a look at the trailer and see if, at this point, you’d be onboard to check it out in theaters.

Godzilla is directed by Gareth Edwards and stars Bryan Cranston, Elizabeth Olsen, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Juliette Binoche and Ken Watanabe. It hits theaters May 16, 2014.

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C-Tates Rocks Elf Ears, Sandy Goatee in JUPITER ASCENDING Trailer from Wachowskis

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Ambitious to a fault, last year’s Cloud Atlas was amongst the strangest and best of the year. It earned a mention just outside of my top ten of the year for taking massive risks that mostly paid off, something the Wachowskis have become known for. While The Matrix sequels may have soured the insane originality of the first film, they were box office giants that left every studio exec with the name Wachowski on their lips.

Even after the intellectual floppage of these follow ups, people generally agree that that first film is a stroke of genius and show that this brother (now bro-sis) duo had something special up their sleeves. The box office seem to suggest otherwise though. Since then though, the Wachowskis have struggled to find their footing creatively, and especially, financially. Cloud Atlas only scrapped up $27.1 million domestically even with big names like Tom Hanks and Halle Berry but performed four times as well overseas (a rare feat) while Speed Racer crashed and burned, only making $43.9 mill on a $120 mill budget.

Jupiter Ascending looks to share thematic similarities to both Atlas and Matrix and also has a cast loaded with international stars in Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis. Based on the pure formula of this sci-fi/action spectacle film lead by two “it” actors, Jupiter Ascending seems like it could be an easy hit but the Wachowskis recent track record seem to suggest otherwise. What is it about Wachowskis latest films that have made people back away from? Are they too heady for mainstream audiences?

If that is the case, then Jupiter Ascending is unlikely to sway any new converts since the fficial synopsis depicts an equally out-of-the-box adventure: In a universe where humans are near the bottom of the evolutionary ladder, a young destitute human woman is targeted for assassination by the Queen of the Universe because her very existence threatens to end the Queen’s reign.

Jupiter Ascending is written and directed by Andy Wachowski and Lana Wachowski, and stars Channing Tatum, Mila Kunis, Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne, Douglas Booth, James D’Arcy and Doona Bae. It opens July 25, 2014.

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What Looks Worse: THE STARVING GAMES or THE HUNGOVER GAMES?

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For all the praise The Hunger Games franchise has received (and count me amongst the many fans of the series), the second installment is now single-handedly responsible for not one, but two spin-off “comedies.” The first, so cleverly titled The Starving Games, throws wedgies, Hobbits, The Avengers, LMFAO, Apple products, Angry Birds and a horny Gandalf into the Hunger Games formula that makes a 2 minute and 27 second trailer look like a life time. The internet collectively sighed at the trailer’s debut and condemned it to the worst corner of film hell. If you dare, take a peek at this monstrosity.

Thankfully, audiences also seemed to have enough of Jason Friedman and Aaron Seltzer (Vampires Suck, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans, Epic Movie) notoriously lazy brand of comedy as when The Starving Games opened last month (November 8) it made less than $10,000 and barely saw ten theaters. Such a face-first wipeout would make you think that Ketchup Entertainment and their intellectually sleazy cohorts would catch the hint and start leaving these spoofers in the dumpster where they belong but no, as the second Hunger Games ripoff is well on its way in the form of The Hungover Games. Because we all know that you’ve been wondering what would happen if you took the wolf pack and threw them in with Katniss.

This time the spoof net is even wider, and arguably more lazy, with nods to just about everything in the mere periphery of pop culture rears its head in this ugly, ugly looking film. From Jack Sparrow to Tonto, Ted to Django, race jokes to housewives, Carrie and, oh yeah, The Avengers again, it’s amazing just how non-topical some of these references can be. The saddest part of this whole thing is to see Tara Reid and Jamie Kennedy‘s names thrown in the mix as if those two really are going to get people to see the film.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAq0jgKGGGw

More than anything, I just wonder who goes to see these films.Friedberg and Seltzer, amazingly enough, tend to break 30 million dollars domestically usually working off a budget of around 20 million. So the profits are small but just sizable enough to give them something to do every couple years or so. I just want to plead with the audiences who are actually seeing these abominations to stop seeing them. It’s not like they enjoy them, right? (Please God, I hope no one enjoys them)

So which of these two do you think looks worse? I know they’re both horrendous but one might have a leg up on the other in terms of being unbelievably shitty. Further, what is the worse spoof movie you’ve ever seen? And finally, if you know anyone who admits to seeing these, just do them a favor and steal ten bucks from their wallet.

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AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 Trailer Features 3 Villians Because That Worked So Well Before

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In a move of unprecedented studio genius, The Amazing Spiderman 2 has decided to go big or go home, introducing a stable of villains for this second installment of a franchise that people could not be more excited about. While the film originally seemed like it would just be a Spidey vs. Electro showdown, the villians have been adding up piece-by-piece to make up the much-loved triple villain assault. As you’ll probably remember, fans and critics alike swooned over Spiderman 3, easily the favorite of Sam Raimi‘s trilogy, with many pointing to the inclusion of three separate villians, each with their own origin storyline, as the highlight of the film. Celebrated critic Roger Ebert said, “Spiderman 3 soars but I couldn’t help but wish that there were 4 villians.”

Joined by Rhino – Paul Giamatti in a big Rhino-shaped robot suit – and Green Goblin – Harry Osborn (Dane DeHaan) encouraged to be a dick to ol’ friend Peter Park by a bed-ridden Norman Osborn (Chris Cooper) – Electro aims to wipe out Spiderman because he’s a man dressed like a spider and that kind of nonsense just won’t fly. Because, honestly, what’s worse in life than a wackjob in a costume going around stopping petty crime? That’s right – nothing.

Even more exciting is the fact that you can clearly see hints for EVEN MORE VILLAINS TO COME in this trailer. The most obvious of which is Doc Octopus’s evil eight-armed-suit that is chilling in a tank. It likes like even though dear Robert won’t have lived to see the day when his dream came true, the rest of us living will finally be granted our ultimate wish of seeing four (no five, oh god let it be six) supervillains in one Spiderman movie.

Take a look at this trailer which looks nothing like a video game and makes complete sense. 

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Arnold Schwarzenegger's (Actual) Comeback Staged in David Ayer's SABOTAGE Trailer

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Arnie has had a bit of a tough go returning to the spotlight with his latest starring vehicles failing to open to a sum larger than $10 million on opening weekend, receiving rotten aggregate reviews, and failing to have much tenure at the box office. But up to this point, his post-gubernatorial films have mostly tried to use the Austrian tough guy as a hammy one-liner machine. In steps David Ayer, writer of Training Day and director of last year’s excellent End of Watch, and it looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger might have a chance to become a legitimate badass once more.

In Sabotage, Schwarzenegger leads a group of an elite DEA task force that find themselves being taken out one by one after they capture millions at a cartel safe house. Joining him is a group of certified talent, with Mireille Enos, Joe Manganiello, Sam Worthington, Josh Holloway, Terrence Howard amongst others rounding out the cast.

In order to turn his campy, geezer with a gun image back an intimidating beefcake of a man, all Schwarzenegger might need is a great director. There’s few men standing who can handle edge-of-your-seat action/drama like Ayer, so he might be what Schwarzenegger’s late stage career needs – a shot of adrenaline to the heart. Even I think this looks very promising and will most definitely be catching it in theaters.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeHpSdQSH0c

Sabotage is directed by David Ayer and stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mireille Enos, Joe Manganiello, Sam Worthington, Terrence Howard. It bursts into theaters on April 11, 2014.

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