Lena Dunham to Play Sith Lord in STAR WARS 7

Taking a decidedly more mumblecore approach to this next gen of Stars Wars films, J.J. Abrams has cast Girls‘ creator and star Lena Dunham as a sith lord and the main antagonist for Star Wars 7 and beyond. Of Dunham, Abrams said, “While certainly not what most people were expecting, casting Lena will bring in the much missing female audience for the next installments of the Star Wars franchise. With her relatable quirk and everygirl persona, we hope to tap into a whole new sector of what Star Wars can mean in the zeitgeist of pop culture.”

Dunham is expected to wield one-liners about how hard it is being a white, middle-class girl living in NYC (in a parallel galaxy far, far away) alongside lightsabers that only work some of the time. When asked why the franchise would take such a drastic left turn from the traditionally evil and more, ahem, composed sith, Abrams shrugged and started pitching a new television concept involving sci-fi and Damon Lindelof: Photon 13. “It’ll be very mysterious,” he promised.

(Actual report: Dunham’s Girls‘ co-star, Adam Driver will in fact play the big bad sith.)