I’d never watched a full episode of any of Anthony Bourdain’s various programs but I knew of and admired the man nonetheless. A New York line cook turned globe-trotting modern day philosopher, Bourdain embodied the idea that travel is a transformative business and Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain reveals a man changed – for the better, and the worse – for it. For Bourdain, a willingness to try anything once coupled with a desire to go to the furthest reaches of the globe to reveal an inner yearning and restlessness.

The world became Bourdain’s oyster and he gobbled up the opportunity to explore exotic cuisines and exotic cultures. As Bourdain’s star rose, so did his unfettered access to destinations few Western travelers had journeyed to. Places like the Congo, the setting of Bourdain’s spiritual bible of sorts, Joseph Conrad’s “Heart of Darkness”; or caught in the crossfire of a war breaking out in Lebanon; or on the streets of a Haiti ravaged by an Earthquake where hungry spectators broke out in a fight for the food Bourdain and his crew naively provided the onlookers.

The more places Bourdain went, the more despair he saw. Tropes of hunger, violence, and indifference populated every nook and cranny of the globe. So too was there light, levity, shared experience, and learning. But the darkness always lingered. To quote Nietzsche, “If thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes back into thee.” These experiences change a man, especially one who already wrestles with demons. The more he traveled, the more Bourdain’s demons percolated to the surface. Enlightenment it seems is not always spiritual gravy.

Continuing with Nietzsche, “He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster.” Bourdain became unsure of what his programs accomplished. He pleaded with the Travel Network not to release an episode about his stay in war-torn Lebanon but executives saw nothing but dollar signs and buzz in their eyes. The episode aired.

Had Bourdain become a vehicle for western exploitation? In his own eyes, perhaps. And yet, he knew the value of showing the unspoken joys of civilizations that often only crossed our television screens as markers of some great tragedy or other. This mattered greatly to the man, perhaps because he himself couldn’t stop seeing the extreme polarity of the human experience. The light and the darkness. The heart of a recovered heroine addict. Bourdain struggled with this duality constantly, a wrestling match within his soul. Was he a monster or had he taken up the sword to fight them? I’m not sure he knew by the end.

From Academy Award-winning documentarian Morgan Neville (20 Feet from Stardom, Won’t You Be My Neighbor?), Roadrunner tracks the years the chef-turned-tv host spent in the spotlight, his evolving philosophy on travel, how he tried – and often failed – to succeed as a family man, his struggles with fame, and his triumphs with food. Neville’s documentary is a bit light on the actual culinary angle but so too were Bourdain’s shows. Food brings us together but good conversation makes us stay. Bourdain may have started in a sweaty kitchen but as he took to the road, food began to take a backseat to those human experiences and Roadrunner is much more interested in the human angle, the relationships forged and broken, and ultimately, the inner turmoil of a man refusing to give himself another chance at life, love, and happiness. Bourdain, a once-heroine addict, denied himself the possibility of recovery when he hung himself in June of 2018.

Overnight fame has a way of stopping life in its tracks. After watching Roadrunner, I have no doubt that if Bourdain’s memoir ‘Kitchen Confidential’ had not become a New York Times Best Seller, he would have remained happily married to his high school sweetheart. He’d probably still be sweating in a NYC kitchen. He would be alive. But he saw the world. And the world saw him. Bourdain suffered many burdens but few fools. When he looked in the mirror and saw a fool before him, he refused to suffer himself any longer. And now the world suffers his absence.

CONCLUSION: Morgan Neville’s involving documentary puts Anthony Bourdain’s travels and struggles into razor sharp focus, creating a compelling and full-bodied portrait of an ambitious journeyman, a restless searcher, a semi-charmed lover, and a crestfallen philosopher.