The first month of every year may start with resolutions about self-improvement, working out more, sleeping more, eating better and the like, and yet the new offerings at the movie cineplexes are more reliably junky than any other time of year. Underwater is peak January movie; a bungled poof of a plot, shoddy direction, feckless characters, unimpressive production work. It’s movie empty carbs, devoid of any nutritional value or artistic takeaway. The kind of movie you can throw in the pile with the other countless shameless impressions of Alien (alongside 2017’s super lame Life) that fundamentally misunderstands what makes that movie oh-so-great. Read More