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Out in Theaters: ‘THE LAST WITCH HUNTER’

Turns out when you take Vin Diesel out from behind the steering wheel, he’s still rocking cruise control. His latest starring vehicle, The Last Witch Hunter, pays homage to the muscle-bound actor’s IRL passion for D&D. No, not designated driving but Dungeons and Dragons (the actor has openly express his passion for the tabletop role-playing game). Like a faltering dungeon master, Diesel is as one-dimensional and underwhelming as a bag of old Cheetos. Playing a Norseman destined to keep the peace between witches and the human race, Diesel does nothing to differentiate this performance from any of his other recent ones, and how could he? The man is as wooden as Groot, as mechanical as the Iron Giant, as audibly indecipherable as Dominic Toretto’s meat and potatoes growl-slur. It seems you can take the Dom out of the movie but you can’t take the Dom out of Vin Diesel.   Read More

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Out in Theaters: ‘COOTIES’

Cooties is Children of the Corn by way of Daddy Day Care. A tactless, haphazardly unfunny, totally DOA clunker, horror-comedy Cooties is the brainchild of “that guy” Leigh Whannell (of the Insidious and Saw franchises) and a severely handicapped brainchild it is. Read More