I knew from the very onset that Onward was going to work my tear ducts like a German milkmaid squeezing at a bovine’s teat. It didn’t matter that the blue teenage elves looked more like the brainchildren of Dreamworks than Pixar, or that some of the comedy was a bit low-brow and slapstick, or even that Onward settles more in the mid-to-lower tier ranking of the once-unflappable animation studio’s filmography, this movie was always gonna turn me into a mushy adult sniveling away in a dark theater. And that it did.  Read More