‘UNDERWATER’ is Peak Incoherent January Hollywood Flotsam
Perfect for fans who love both bad sci-fi rip-offs and TJ Miller comedy, Underwater is often a spectacularly incoherent mess you can’t help but snicker at. 20,000 leagues below the…
REVIEW
REVIEW
Expect Double the Will Smith, Half the Fun in ‘GEMINI MAN’ Dud
Will Smith continues his epic streak of terrible movies in the simple-minded and often poorly-staged wanna-be-cerebral thriller. Ang Lee’s talents as a director are incredibly misused as this flop-in-the-making just kind…
REVIEW
Linklater’s ‘WHERE’D YOU GO BERNADETTE’ a Shocking Disaster of a Movie
The talented Mr. Richard Linklater has gone and shit the bed with the steaming pile of oddball quirk that is ‘Where’d You Go Bernadette’. Even the illustrious Cate Blanchett can’t…
REVIEW
Punishingly Bland ‘MEN IN BLACK: INTERNATIONAL’ Left Me Wanting Neuralization
At least Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson try to entertain in the painful 'Men in Black: International', two hours of unfiltered nonsense that travels at the speed of sound in…
REVIEW
Disney’s Lifeless ’ALADDIN’ Remake is the Opposite of Art
Guy Ritchie’s ‘Aladdin’ is an offensive and art-devoid “adaptation” that, by academic law, should be failed by virtue of gross plagiarism. Phony performances, cheap production design, bad visual effects, unpleasant…
REVIEW
Punishing ’THE CURSE OF LA LLORONA’ Will Make You Cry Tears of Boredom
‘The Curse of La Llorona’ promises to inject a Latin-X flavor into the Conjuring universe but barely even manages that. Nothing more than a dreadful fit of overdone cliches, it’s…
REVIEW
Generic ’MISS BALA’ An Anti-Feminist Female-Led Actioner
Even if you erase the messy gender politics and aggressively anti-feminist bent of 'Miss Bala', you’re still left with little more than a mildly watchable action movie defined by unremarkable…
REVIEW
The ‘GLASS’ is Half Empty in Laughably Bad Conclusion to Shyamalan Trilogy
The long-in-the-tooth Unbreakable trilogy ends on a broken note with Glass, a pretty-much-awful comic book movie that conjoins lofty aspirations to nonsensical execution. An early contender for one of the…
REVIEW
Avada Kedavra! ’THE CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD’ Kills Harry Potter Spin-Off Series Before It’s Even Started
Where once magic thrived, ‘Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindlewald’ spells are but a black-hole of wonder. The opposite of alchemy, the spin-off sequel turns what was once gold into…
REVIEW
‘SUSPIRIA’ Remake a Horrifyingly Inauspicious Chore
Daring to make an American remake even less accessible to mainstream audiences, Luca Guadagnino’s 'Suspiria' is a tedious, overreaching chore.