This week I set out to catch up with some of the early releases of 2013 that I missed and, surprise, surprise, was very underwhelmed. Not that I was expecting much revelatory from films like R.I.P.D. and White House Down but I was expecting at least a degree of fun that was largely absent. I also dipped into one of the Coen Bros earlier works, Millers Crossing, and was overjoyed that I did, as the film is, who would have thought, excellent. In theaters, I saw the slightly underwhelming Hunger Games: Catching Fire while Vince Vaughn‘s latest, Delivery Man, (for which Kyle wrote our review) managed to impress me more than I thought it would. I also published a review of Alexander Payne‘s excellent Nebraska. But for now, let’s get down to the nitty gritty and weekly review like we mean business.

MILLERS CROSSING (1990)

The third film from the Coen Bros is a slippery web of double and triple crossings that always feel intricate but never contrived. It’s meant to keep you guessing and on your toes and succeeds greatly in accomplishing this goal. While it’s mostly a talker, there are explosive moments of visually astounding violence (Leo’s opera-backed Tommy gun sequence is simply incredibly). Backed by star making performances for John Turturro and Marcia Gay Harden, Millers Crossing isn’t a movie that sets out to confuse or confound you, it just always happens to be one step ahead, daring you to keep up.

A-

R.I.P.D. (2013)

As far as I can tell, Mary Louise Parker and Ryan Reynolds are two of the most obnoxious and least believable people in Hollywood. Their noxious parts in this cluster bomb of a movie that sees deceased police officers hunting down the undead on Earth only cements this fact. The only entertaining moments come courtesy of Jeff Bridges returning to Roster Cockburn – although here his affectation gives diminishing return – especially since he is saddled with choppy dialogue that can only fly on a comic book page. R.I.P.D. seems to intentionally go out of its way to be stupid – dumbed down to the most base of levels. At least it’s a relatively short affair.

D+

EUROPA REPORT (2013)

Too stripped down for its own good, Europa Report tries to be inventive but is largely by the numbers. As a crew of specialists searching for the twinkle of life on a distant Saturn moon, they encounter events beyond their control that start to thin their numbers. Using the ever so popular found footage framework, tension runs high but bumps in the night are mostly lacking and the eventual dwindling of their ranks plays like many other by-the-books survival films . As their roster dwindles, so does the hope of something revelatory. Packed with a lineup of faces who you can’t quite put a name to, there’s certainly lots of under-valued talent here, although it’s only occasionally put to good use. Ultimately, Europa Report is a good effort with a minor payout but isn’t entirely worth the trip.

C

WHITE HOUSE DOWN (2013)

A bunch of nonsense involving a wanna-be secret service played by C-Tats mostly in a wife beater and a street smart president rocking Air Jordans and the presidential know how of someone who’s watch CNN a few times. For all the gobbledygook us vs. them dialogue, mess of explosions, and shoe-horned shoot outs, the excitement in White House Down is too sculpted and junky to elicit moments of actual tension. Rather, we know full well the adrenaline-seeking rouse explosion king Roland Emmerich is trying to pull, and let’s just say he doesn’t quite have the same knack for it that he did in the 90s. As the second terrorists attack the White House film of the year (the Gerard Butler led Olympus Has Fallen was the other), it was the more expensive (by a large margin), less profitable, and all around worse film. Worst of all, it’s over two-hours and ten minutes that all amount to a total waste of your time.

D
LEAVING LAS VEGAS (1995)

I would direct all who say that Nicholas Cage can’t act to Leaving Las Vegas, this film in which he deservingly won Best Actor playing a volatile drunk slowly committing suicide through booze. It’s pretty much a nightmare watching these desperate people in this desperate town, especially when love and feelings get tackled in. You know it’s not going to end well but the trip spiraling downwards is anchored by fantastic performances from Cage and Elisabeth Shue, who plays his new hooker girlfriend with a heart of gold, Sera. Anything but a fun movie, Leaving Las Vegas is a certainly challenge to watch and teaches you that dating an alcoholic isn’t far from babysitting a 160 pound man. You certainly won’t feel great about yourself after seeing it, but it’s packed with enough caustic body horror to leave a mental scar for even the most hardened of viewers…if you’re into that.