It’s been a long, long time since the last edition of Weekly Review so this installment should realistically read more like Monthly Review butlet’s just pretend together here. Aside from some at home viewing that included getting through the first season of BBC’s Luther, which I’ve really begun to enjoy, some easily digestible watching with Gordon Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares, yet another watch of one of last year’s greatest films, and one of the best horror movies of all time, Cabin in the Woods, I made it to theaters to see screenings of The Heat and The Lone Ranger.

In light of the fact that I have been stockpiling these ones and have about six to cover, each will be a little shorter than usual but I’ll still try to communicate the gist of my feelings on the matter.

Jesse and Celeste Forever (2012)

A rom-com with a throbbing indie heart, this brainchild written by and starring the lovely Rashida Jones is an earnest if minor delight. Lonely Island and SNL funnyman Andy Samberg plays opposite Jones as her ex-husband slash best friend and their oddly close relationship makes people around them a little bit uncomfortable. Even though they are in the throes of a separation, these people are kindred spirits deeply in love with each other even though they know they just do not work as a couple.

The most substantial achievements in the film are rooted in the charming chemistry and clever interplay between Jones and Samberg. They bounce off of each other with a natural courtship that feels like years in the making that elevates this indie fare into a territory of earnest believability not often achieved. While it isn’t game-changing cinema, it’s indie fare at its strongest and is an easy recommendation for anyone, particularly a couple, looking for something funny, pleasant and charming.

B-

Fast Five (2011)

After hearing how piping hot the revitalized Fast and Furious franchise was, I felt compelled to see what all the hype was actually about. While Fast Five wasn’t quite the revelatory spectacle-driven blockbuster I half-expected, it was the irresistible equivalent of lemonade on a hot summer day: simple and spot-hitting. Even though it’s hard to look past the wooden acting, pitiable character development and contrived plot elements, it was exactly the type of high-octane mindless summer flick you need every once in a while.

With the emotional complexity of Transformers (note that the cars here don’t actually transform though), Fast Five does greatly benefit from the physical presence of the Rock, Dwayne Johnson. The stony-faced Vin Diesel is as dull as ever but director Justin Lin focuses more on the open ensemble so that we’re not stuck alone with Diesel for too much time. Even as an effects piece, Lin’s film is passable but hardly raises the bar for set piece action. Although I’m intrigued to see how long the legs are on this seemingly unstoppable franchise, don’t count me amongst the mindless drones rushing out to blog about F8st & Furi8us.

C

Mama (2013)

From the auspicious roots of his Spanish short film, Andrés Muschietti‘s Mama is a film stilted by its Hollywood notions of dread. Missing are the practical effects that characterized the short and in its place are unconvincing computer generated images that rob us of the looming sense of dread that Muschietti is trying to foster.

With a solid cast that includes Academy Award nominated actress Jessica Chastain and Game of Thrones alum, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Mama squanders its talent with a mostly lame-duck script and the self-defeating decision to show too much too soon. Although the actual fright-inducing scares are mostly lacking, taking the backseat to forced jump scares, there is eeriness to the relationships at play. This Guillermo del Toro production does succeed in the atypical treatment of the two young girls abandoned and raised in the woods and their resulting psyches but it doesn’t take it to the level of psychological horror hinted at. Ultimately, even though the acting is better than most within the genre, there just aren’t enough scares and the evil ghost mama at the center is hardly frightening enough to maintain a full-length feature.

C-

Upstream Color (2013)

Shane Carruth‘s follow-up to the head-scratching Primer is a bold step towards wild originality and feverish auteurship. Mostly devoid of dialogue, Upstream Color is a cyclical tone poem that favors moody introspection to outright explanation. In fact, everything is so blanketed with metaphor that it’s essentially impossible to take anything concrete away from it. In many ways, that is what makes it an interesting and challenging experience. This is not the cinema you’ve become acclimated to as the closest thing to its fiercely originality is the more abstract work of Terrence Malick. But what prevails here is a sense of completeness that often alludes the meandering Malick.

In a brief synopsis, Upstream Color follows the journey of a woman who is placed under some drug-induced spell. As she attempts to reclaim her life in the aftermath, she meets a man who may just have undergone the same traumatic thing. Even though that sounds like a somewhat straightforward analysis of the film, it is far more open-ended, contemplative and thought provoking than a brief one-off could provide. While many will probably be frustrated and bored by this shamelessly avante garde style of filmmaking, it represents a step in a bold new direction that is almost universally shied away from.

B

Oz: The Great and Powerful (2013)

In the opening black-and-white moments of Oz, I thought to myself, “I don’t know what people were talking about, this is enjoyably tongue-in-cheek Raimi.” Smugly, I assumed that people were just unfamiliar with the idiosyncrasies of one of Hollywood’s most marketable and yet occult filmmakers. A mere ten minutes later, in the thick of the over-saturated trees of Oz, a facepalming was the only suitable response.

Oz: The Great and Powerful is so tone-deaf to its own childish tone that any play towards seriousness comes across like a knee-slapper for a quadriplegic. It is often shockingly bad and James Franco‘s self-satisfied Oz has the charisma of a stoned lion and the draw of his bombed-out Oscar hosting. His cringe-worthy smirks make you forget about the Franco you love, shifting gears into his being one of the most obnoxious performers in Hollywood. From the god-awful CGI landscapes to the detestable cast of characters completely lacking in any degree of rational or intelligent development, Oz represents the worst of the worst of blockbuster entertainment geared towards children. It’s a wonder that parents didn’t run screaming from the theaters.

D-

The Last Exorcism: Part 2 (2013)

To have gone from such a powerful, creepy first installment to this stick in the mud is almost unexplainable. Nonetheless, this is one of the least inspired, mindless examples of disposable horror cinema I can think of. Dropping the recovered footage framework, director Ed Gass-Donnelly has gone for a more conventional approach that catches up with Ashley Bell‘s Nell after the events of the previous film. She’s attempting to live out a normal life but people just keep creeping on her. For some inexplicable reason, the film takes her struggling to come to terms with life after the fact as the focal point of the feature and we feel like we’re watching an episode of WB television written by a blind monkey.

The Last Exorcism: Part 2 is nigh unwatchable and aside from being one of the most boring film experiences I can recount, it is shockingly poorly acted. Poor Bell reacts to things before they even happen and the cast surrounding her think that opening their eyes really big is a sign of thespian skill. Le sigh. The real shame is that The Last Exorcism came out of nowhere as a genuinely frightful event that deserved some due credibility within the horror community. This film however is like the ugly cousin that tags along, burns down the house and is responsible for all your friends going to jail. It’s hard to be cool after that.