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Probably In Theaters, Vol. 2

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When Hollywood stops being so goddamn lazy with its movie concepts, I’ll do the same and actually Google the movie listings. Until then, here are the movies that are Probably In Theaters:

ACTION: Approaching the Bench

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Approaching the Bench: “A disillusioned judge decides to take the law into his own hands and begins hitting the gym.”

SCI-FI: Down to Earth

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Down To Earth: “An abandoned Alien teenager tries to live a normal life in a small town in southern california. His feelings for the local cheerleading captain are complicated when puberty hits and his alien genitalia come in.”

COMEDY: All Greek to Me

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All Greek To Me: “A hearty teenage girl goes to Greece for the summer to stay with her distant relatives when her parents get a divorce. She learns about life, love, kebabs, and that differences are only skin-deep.”

HORROR: You Are What You Eat

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You Are What You Eat: “When disobedient schoolchildren go missing, the trail leads to the cafeteria.”

ROMANCE: Legalese

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Legalese: “Two uptight and perpetually single lawyers find each other: on opposing sides of a career-making case.”

THRILLER: Cover Girl

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Cover Girl: “A beautiful secret agent masquerades as a jetsetting model in the world’s most fashionable—and dangerous—cities.”

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Probably In Theaters, Vol 1.

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When Hollywood stops being so goddamn lazy with its movie concepts, I’ll do the same and actually Google the movie listings. Until then, here are the movies that are Probably In Theaters:

DRAMEDY: Act of God

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Act of God: “A catastrophic-insurance salesman learns to live life to the fullest after he strikes up an unlikely friendship with the pastor of the local church he’s trying to sell to.

ACTION: 400

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400: “Because four hundred guys is still like, woah, that’s not many guys versus a lot more guys, but it’s also more guys than the first two.

HORROR: No Brainer

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No Brainer: A wave of decapitations hit a local town and everyone is convinced they know who’s behind it. The only problem: they can’t agree.

THRILLER: Cloud 9

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Cloud 9: “A sci-fi thriller where a software developer creates a cloud based storage system for happy memories—and then holds the world’s happiness for ransom when he threatens to erase them all.”

ROMANCE: Scott Free
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Scott-Free: “Charming conman Scott always fools his target—until he falls in love with the one mark that just wants to get rid of him.”

BONUS: Star Wars Episode VII: Renewed Hope

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Star Wars Episode VII: Renewed Hope: “JJ Abrams takes the wheel of the generally underwhelming Star Wars franchise to deliver a surprisingly fresh take on the series that nonetheless isn’t as good as movies that are actually good.”

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