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‘FAST X’ Accelerates the Tired Franchise Into a Wall of Absurdity

Death has been tamed in the realm of the Fast and the Furious, a universe where mortality is less of a concrete reality and more of a minor inconvenience. Explosions, vehicular disasters, bullets, and even cosmic escapades seem to have lost their lethal touch. Notably, Paul Walker’s Brian O’Conner, who we mourned back in 2013, has somehow cheated death’s finality to make posthumous cameos in four subsequent films. It’s an impressive work ethic that redefines the very essence of ‘life after death’. Why die when resurrection is but as plot contrivance away? Read More

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‘WRATH OF MAN’ A Vengeful Layer Cake of Crime

With a dozen films under his belt, British filmmaker Guy Ritchie has dedicated his career to the criminal ensemble. From his roots directing blue-collar Cockney capers (Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch) to his more mainstream tentpole films (The Man for U.N.C.L.E., King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, and – to a degree – even Aladdin), Ritchies film involve crews of small-time thieves stylishly trying to land the big score. In what is both a natural evolution of his thread of storytelling and perhaps even a maturation of his themes, Wrath of Man wonders what happens after the heist has been committed.  Read More

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‘FAST & FURIOUS PRESENTS: HOBBS & SHAW’ Is Fatigued Action Cartoon Bupkis

From VCR heists to saving the entire world from a virus that melts your insides, The Fast & Furious franchise has long been one of fast and furious reinvention. With a tradition of shifting cast lineups, the car-based franchise saw its crew transition from small-time criminals to world-class agents and assets who global governments call upon when a situation is too big for them to handle. The early days of the Fast franchise, in a sense, saw one spin-off after another. The second movie (the egregiously titled 2 Fast 2 Furious) kept only Paul Walker from the original 2001 flick while adding newcomer Tyrese Gibson into the mix. The third (Tokyo Drift) shifted to another continent entirely and had only the thinnest of connective tissue to previous installations vis-a-vis a throwaway Vin Diesel cameo. It was only when the films jammed everyone together and added Dwayne Johnson into the mix in Fast Five that everything started coming up diesel.  Read More

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Out in Theaters: ‘THE MEG’

Loose lips sink ships in Jon Turteltaub‘s blubbery shark actioner, a ceaselessly talky and endlessly nonsensical ocean-set joyride that should be a hell of a lot more fun than it actually is. Those going in hoping to see an 80-foot shark gnash meddling homo-sapiens to flesh ribbons will find themselves but partially satisfied, destined to wade through the shallows of ungodly writing and forced to endure some of the worst acting in US cineplexes, courtesy of Chinese co-producers and the English-as-a-second-language talent offered up here. Read More

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Out in Theaters: THE TRANSPORTER REFUELED

To say that no one asked for a Transporter reboot is putting things lightly. The franchise in which Jason Statham rose to fame hardly lit up the box office when it set off in 2002, barely crossing the 25 million dollar marker on a 21 million dollar budget. The second installment hardly fared better, scraping up 43 on 32 and by movie numero three, the second-rate action/car staple was hardly scraping by. 7 years later, we have the latest addition to the “Why In Hell Was This Rebooted?” pool in The Transporter Refueled, a near abomination of filmmaking, barely held together by flashy Audi commercial tie-ins, gratuitous sexual violence and Ray Stevenson’s equally flashy grin. At least Ray’s having some fun. We in the audience though are not privy to such leisure. Read More

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Out in Theaters: SPY

Like Funyuns, Melissa McCarthy is an acquired taste. In her least delicate projects, she vaults around the frame, sharting and cursing to the apparent delight of squealing audiences that I just don’t relate to. Even in Paul Feig‘s Spy – a film that affords her at least an attempt at a three-dimensional character – a wide margin of the comedy is rooted in McCarthy’s heft and just how riotous it is to see a fat lady try to do normal lady things. Tee-hee. Read More

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SXSW Review: FURIOUS 7

At the bedside of crisped brother Owen Shaw (Luke Evans), older, meaner Deckard (Jason Statham) vows revenge on the crew that turned his sibling into a pin cushion. The camera pulls back to reveal a high security hospital-turned-war zone and Statham slowly saunters past gunned-down guards, ravaged rooms and fizzling tech. The world pisses itself in the presence of Deckard – your appropriately chewy badass action movie baddie at the center of the latest Fast film. It’s a rightfully outrageous moment that aptly sums up Furious 7 in its complete and stupid glory; it’s so dumb, it’s so good. Read More

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Red Band Trailer for HOMEFRONT Gets Bloody

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Jason Statham continues his streak of playing badass Americans with British accents, in Gary Fleder’s Homeland. But, like with Arnold Schwarzenegger, we don’t really care. The spoiler-ridden trailer plays like an annotation for five different action movies in one. A little bit Taken, a little bit Walking Tall, a little bit A History of Violence, and a little bit Malone (if you want to get obscure), Homeland promises nothing new. As silly as it sounds, though, as long as it gives Statham the chance to beat people up and say cool-sounding lines, it will probably be fun as hell. Statham is on his way to full Seagallhood.

This film harbors no illusions about being anything more than a B-movie with a budget. James Franco looks to be really solid, as the meth kingpin (a scene in a yellow hazmat suit makes it impossible not to think of Breaking Bad). Also, Jason Statham looks to turn in a stunning performance as Jason Statham. The hilariously cliché plot and generic action sequences make it tricky to judge the overall quality from the trailer. Films like this tend to be a mixed bag of cult classics and garbage. If you’re in the mood for mindless action, check this out in theaters starting November 27th. If you are like me, wait for it to be on TNT in a year and watch it over a couple beers with friends, while doing Jason Statham impressions.

Homefront is directed by Gary Fleder and stars Jason Statham, James Franco, Winona Ryder, Kate Bosworth and Frank Grillo. It opens on November 27, 2013.

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