This week on South Park: Having successfully lured the socially conscious Whole Foods franchise to their PC mountain town, the residents of South Park are now enjoying a wave of new restaurants that the superbly marketed supermarket has attracted to the Historic Shi Tpa Town. The influx of eateries has brought out the inner food blogger in half of the town’s residents, including Eric Cartman, Gerald Broflovski, and police chief Harrison Yates. Each Yelper believes that their critiques function as a lighthouse for the community; guiding the thousands of folks that hang on their every word to the food providers that they deserve.
Restaurant owners are doing their darndest to accommodate the all-important Yelpers in an effort to maintain a reasonable online rating so that they don’t go out of business. However, Yelper numbers are increasing and their demands are getting more and more outlandish. City Wok owner Tuong Lu Kim has to personally deliver his City food to Cartman at South Park Elementary in order to avoid the constant one star threat that Cartman keeps hanging over City Wok’s head. When Kim’s delivery isn’t as prompt as Cartman would like, he’s forced to give the meal away for free.
One day Willy of Whistlin’ Willy’s cracks it after a particularly demanding amateur food critic enters the pizzeria/arcade and cries out, “Emergency! Emergency!” just because he wants to be seated at a table inside the area with all the little plastic balls. Willy demands that the Yelpers get the fuck out of his pizzeria immediately. Willy’s bold move pays off as business really begins to boom at the family favorite. Fellow restaurant owners rejoice: No longer must they kiss the assess of customers seeking to exercise a morsel of control and/or authority, who come in and threaten to take down their business with bad reviews. Soon every joint in town is actively discouraging Yelpers from coming in to dine.
However, not everyone is happy. The loss of power is upsetting for Cartman and so he calls a meeting to rouse up all food reviewers. The amateur critics listen to Cartman’s spiel about the importance of there being chief king Yelper (him) to rule them all. The Yelpers are oblivious to one another and they each think Cartman is calling on them personally to empower and lead the Yelpers to take back the respect that they deserve. The mob of foodies heads down to Historic Shi Tpa Town to destroy Whistlin’ Willy’s and all of the other restaurants that have failed to recognize their influence and authority.
David is the new kid in town whose parents just opened up a Mexican restaurant. David’s sick of food critics and he’s sick of Cartman trying to control him and so he challenges the Yelpers to a show down on the South side of town. Gerald Broflovski’s son Kyle tries to persuade his friend that the unified Yelpers yield too much power and that there was nothing they could do. However, when the boys are confronted with the group of food reviewers they soon realize that the mob is indeed just a collection of self-serving individuals seeking purpose and recognition, who probably don’t care about fine dining and who definitely don’t care about the person standing next to them. David and Kyle have an idea.
The mayor organizes a mini ceremony to present each Yelper with a gold badge and declare them as the chief food critic for South Park. The Yelper’s are happy and so are the restaurant owners who have agreed to serve them again now that they have a clear and definite system of identifying which persons are to receive special care and attention. Hopefully this episode will crowd-source some much-needed backlash for the shittiness that is Yelp.com. Five stars for the forth installment from season 19.
Be sure to continue to tune in to Brittany’s ongoing South Park Season 19 coverage and check out reviewcaps of the past few episodes if you haven’t already: