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This week on South Park: During a televised White House event, President Obama honors a dejected Kyle for lighting up social media with #tolerance and #acceptance after lauding his current hero (and former least favorite Kardashian): The “stunning and brave” Caitlyn Jenner.

Meanwhile, back in Colorado, Mr. Garrison is royally pissed about the new wave of PC etiquette, which he’s convinced is the root cause behind the sudden spike in immigrants crossing the Northern border intent on picking apart the cultural and moral fibers of America.

Garrison turns to country music to vent his frustrations, a genre of refuge for grieving conservative folk. In his song ‘Where My Country Gone’?, Mr. Garrison is #sorrynotsorry in declaring it took America “43 presidents to make us stand tall and just one black guy to unravel it all.” The message resonates powerfully with a subset of like-minded individuals who instigate a political movement to build a wall along the Canadian border to stop the darned Canucks from taking all of America’s cool stuff and infecting their children with “Maple Fever”.1443110400379.cached-001

However, the recently elected toupee-donning Canadian Prime Minister Trumps Garrison’s gang by commissioning a wall right where they had planned to build one! Aggrieved by the fact that he no longer gets to publicly vent pent up bigoted slurs under the guise of a political campaign, a desperate Mr. Garrison sets out to cross the Niagara Falls in a flimsy wooden barrel to hunt down and “Hot Cosby” the PM who stole his thunder. Also, he really wants to see all the cool shit they’re hiding back there.

Whilst his fired fourth grade teacher is out making America great again, Cartman convinces Butters that he can prevent the imminent race war if he romances a Canadian and forms a culturally blended pride (a la Lion King 2). Butters is not too pleased with his allotted role until he finds himself falling in “Slow Cosby” with Charlotte, an immigrant whose family was forced to flee their beloved homeland after a naïve egomaniac was elected PM. Charlotte’s father informs Butters that the whole thing started out as a joke: The Canadian public kept him in the electoral race because he livened up the debates with rhetoric so outlandish it was hilarious. Next minute, he’s sworn into Office and the population is fleeing in terror.

Lucky for the Canadian refugees, Mr. Garrison is a doer. He bravely navigates his way across the Niagara Falls, through a desolate Ottawa, and up a towering maze of escalators, before succeeding in Hot Cosby-ing the PM to death. Gleefully, the Canadians rush back across the border, Charlotte promises to Skype Butters when she gets home, and Mr. Garrison announces to cheers of support that he’s heading to Washington with running mate Caitlyn, to prepare for Garrison-Jenner 2016.

x62OHkp-001The standout moment of Where My Country Gone? comes when self-professed socially conservative Republican Caitlyn Jenner joins forces with Mr. Garrison: A fellow socially conservative Republican, who also used to be a lesbian transgender women. Both hold surprisingly fixed, traditional views pertaining to gender and/or sexual identity.

In season 12, following his gender reassignment back into a man, Mr. Garrison makes the claim that a woman without functional ovaries is actually a dude; and real-life Caitlyn recently admitted that she’s always struggled with the idea that persons in same-sex relationships are entitled to the same legal benefits as their hetero counterparts, even though she’s been married to three women.

As the likely duo drive out of South Park, I find myself willing the computer screen to suck me into cartoon Jenner’s DC bound convertible. What political rabbit-hole will these two take us down? Can they outdo the efforts of the late Canadian PM? Episode three can’t come soon enough.

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