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Inept romantic drama Below Her Mouth is awesomely bad. This next level cinematic scourge is a perfect confluence of ineptitude, a wholly pitiful effort defined by horrendous acting, terrible scripting and amateur direction that inspires any captive audience member to gawk in horror at its epic multitude of failures. In more ways than one, Below Her Mouth, which contains a whopping seven fully nude sex scenes in its first hour, finds pace with classic movie dumpster fire The Room in that it’s undeniably awful and yet you can’t look away from the cinematic implosion onscreen.  

Other similarities to Tommy Wiseau’s disasterpiece can be seen in main character Dallas (Swedish actress Erika Linder mumbling through her lines), a lesbian roofer trying to hide a thick Swedish accent and doing a proper job bungling every line she’s given. Through a crop of bleach blonde hair and lusty eyes, Dallas is on the hunt for poontang and there are no depths to which she won’t stoop. Including catcalling from roofs. This leads her to Jasmine (Natalie Krill, better than Linder but not by much) a straight and unhappily engaged woman who neighbors the home Dallas is roofing upon.

Like The Room, Below Her Mouth throws sex, nudity and “romance” on the screen in huge splashes, with hot girl-on-hot girl hookup scenes attempting to seduce audiences into forgiving the abrasive horror of everything else. If one assumes that director April Mullen’s (Dead Before Dawn 3D) feature is an outright porno (think of the acting and writing present there and you’ll have a good idea of what to expect throughout) you might find it subdued and tasteful by comparison to the offerings on PornHub but it rarely rises above the level of softcore porn on any discernible level.

Seriously folks, this is just about as bad as it gets. 

As Dallas courts Jasmine, a troubling misunderstanding about the spectrum of sexuality becomes the focal point and Mullen seems to have just about zero insight of worth to add to the conversation. This kind of steamy “chicks doin’ it” feckless romance might have gotten a pass in a less woke era but as a product of a time and a place, Below Her Mouth seems hopelessly out to sea culturally and that only makes all the bad stuff even worse.

The debut script from first time Stephanie Fabrizi poses stiff competition for being the worst aspect of a film overflowing with shoddiness. For anything to be worse than Linder’s acting (I’m sorry but the girl is simply atrocious) is an accomplishment in itself but I think Fabrizi just barely takes home the crown for her utter trainwreck of a piece of writing.

The film, which spends far more time photographing its denuded femme fatales fucking and moaning than getting to know each other by, ya know, talking is occasionally pocked with eye-rolling emotional reveals, terrible pick-up lines and laughable innuendos. Looking at a photo of a young Dallas with a snowman, Jasmine notes, “You’re persistent, look at you…pushing.”
Do not be fooled, ye of the easily fooled nature, Below Her Mouth is no Blue is the Warmest Color. It’s not even in the same color palette. Sure, it’s filled with girls feasting upon one another’s genitals, teasing, kissing, biting, humping and strap-ons galore – and there’s no shortage of full blown vag-on-face action, just in case you were considering taking the kiddies to this one – but there is nothing genuine to Dallas and Jasmine’s romance beyond the physicality.

Dallas and Jasmine are two fit bodies thrusting at each other. Nothing more. Which begs the question: is this just pornography? Sure the sex can be steamy – which admittedly makes the venture a touch more watchable – but it bears no more artistic value than, say, Backdoor Sluts 9. Sure the last 30 minutes are mopey AF and there’s more primary colors than the blindingly white fluorescents usually found on a porn lot but there’s only one reason to watch Below Her Mouth and I think everyone involved with this know what that reason it. I mean just look at the poster. As Justice Potter Stewart once famously opined regarding pornography, “I know it when I see it”  and believe you me, you’ll know it when you see it.

CONCLUSION: ‘Below Her Mouth’ is an epically poor lesbian romance complete with shamefully terrible acting, an embarrassing script and way more than one gratuitous sex scene. Yes, there’s a lot of thrusting but there’s no emotional thrust in this feckless picture that reminds one of ‘The Room’ with chicks wearing strap-ons.

D-

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