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Out in Theaters: THE GALLOWS

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The horror film genre is so full of dumb teenagers making bad decisions one could all but populate a second planet (or country) with their low-grade stock. However The Gallows  — yet another entry into the extensive found footage feature collection– may contain the dumbest teens of any horror movie. They’re massively dumb, completely unlikable and thin as tracing paper. They may as well be wearing big, bright neon signs that read: “Here I am! Kill me now!” Although, the movie itself—written and directed by Travis Cluff and Chris Lofing—isn’t much smarter. Read More

2014 Graded A+ to F

From A+ to F, the best and worst of 2014 (ranked by grade.)

A+ = Potential Masterpiece
A = Most Excellent
A- = Excellent
B+ = Very, Very Good
B = Very Good
B- = Good
C+ = Really Solid
C = Solid
C- = Flawed
D+ = Not very good, serious flaws
D = Tremendously not good, glaring problems
D- = Utter Disaster
F = Useless Trash

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes A+
Boyhood
A+

How to Train Your Dragon 2 A
10,000 KM (Long Distance) A
Starry Eyes A
The Raid 2 A
Wetlands A

The Guest A

Guardians of the Galaxy A-
22 Jump Street A-
The Rover A-
X-Men: Days of Future Past A-
Cold in July A-
The Skeleton Twins A-
Sequoia A-
Nymphomaniac: Part 1 A-
Enemy A-
Cheap Thrills A-

The Lego Movie A-
Blue Ruin
A-

Whiplash A-

I Origins B+
The One I Love B+
Edge of Tomorrow B+
Venus in Furs B+
The Internet’s Own Boy: The Story of Aaron Shwartz B+
To Kill a Man B+
In Order of Disappearance B+
Chef B+
Nymphomaniac: Part 2 B+
Noah B+
The Heart Machine B+
Honeymoon B+
The Grand Budapest Hotel B+
The Infinite Man B+
Young Ones B+

Calvary B+

Magic in the Moonlight B
Sex Tape B
Life Itself B
Snowpiercer B
Frank B
Happy Christmas B
Intruders
B
Night Moves B
Godzilla B
The Trip to Italy B
Oculus B
Fort Tilden B
Space Station 76 B
The Wind Rises B
The Overnighters B

Camp X-Ray B

Afflicted B-
Life Feels Good B-
The Grand Seduction B-
Obvious Child B-
Mystery Road B-
Starred Up B-
The Double B-
Dom Hemingway B-
Under the Skin B-
Sabotage B-
Animals B-
The Lunchbox B-
Creep B-
Stalingrad B-
Appropriate Behavior B-

Fishing Without Nets B-

Get On Up C+
Deliver Us From Evil C+
Tom at the Farm C+
The Babadook C+
Half of a Yellow Sun C+
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 C+
Hellion C+
Joe C+
Arlo and Julie C+
Mr Peabody & Sherman C+
Dinosaur 13 C+

Life After Beth C+

Gold C
A Million Ways to Die in the West C
Difret C
Mirage Men C
Cannibal C
Fight Church C

Zip Zap and the Marble Gang C
JIMI: All is By My Side C
Captain America: The Winter Soldier C
Cuban Fury C
The Muppets: Most Wanted C
Need for Speed C
Non-Stop C
Grand Piano C
Robocop C
The Past C
Only Lovers Left Alive C

Locke C

Grand Central C-
Filth C-
The Fault in Our Stars C-
Time Lapse C-
Transcendence C-
Among the Living C-
Cesar Chavez C-
Pompeii C-
3 Days to Kill C-
Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones C-
The Monument’s Men C-
God’s Pocket C-
Wish I Was Here C-

A Most Wanted Man D+
Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit D+
Canopy D+
Willow Creek D+
Decoding Annie Parker D+
300: Rise of an Empire D+
Bad Words D+
Labor Day D+
The Better Angels D+

Into the Storm D
About Last Night D
Standing Aside Watching D
Firestorm D
Palo Alto D
Ping Pong Summer D
Son of God D
That Awkward Moment D
Jamie Marks is Dead D
Gimme Shelter D

The Purge: Anarchy D-
Leading Lady D-
Brick Mansions D-
Divergent D-
Yakona D-

Hercules F
They Came Together F
Maleficent F
Another F
Foxy Merkins F

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2013 Graded A+ To F

Grades.jpg

From A+ to F, the best and worst of 2013 (ranked by grade.)

Her
A+

12 Years a Slave A+
Before Midnight A+
Dallas Buyers Club A+
Lone Survivor A+

All is Lost A
Captain Phillips A
Fruitvale Station A
What Maisie Knew A
This is the End A
Only God Forgives A

Inside Llewyn Davis A-
The Hunt A-
Out of the Furnace A-
Nebraska A-

Prisoners A-
Gravity A-
Frances Ha A-
Short Term 12 A-
Blackfish A-
The Spectacular Now A-

August: Osage County B+
Frozen B+
Laurence Anyways B+
Rush B+
Mud B+
The Place Beyond the Pines B+
Popularie B+

Oblivion B+
Stoker B+
Man of Steel B+
Elysium B+
The Conjuring B+
The World’s End B+ (No review)

Sightseers B
Philomena B
Thor: The Dark World B
About Time B
The Counselor B
Wadjda B
Trance B
Evil Dead B
Side Effects B

You’re Next B
Crystal Fairy B
The Wolverine B
Somm B
Upstream Color B
Machete Kills B (Evan)
Eden B (No review)
Scenic Route B (No review)
Drinking Buddies B (No review)

Enough Said B-
Don Jon B-
The East B-
Iron Man 3 B-
Much Ado About Nothing B-
The Bling Ring B-
Wish You Were Here B-

Turbo B-
Blue Jasmine B-
World War Z B- (No review)
Fast and Furious 6 B- (No review)
The Croods B- (No review)
Behind the Candelabra B- (No review)
Blackbird B- (No review)
We Steal Secrets B- (No review)

Saving Mr. Banks C+
Grabbers C+
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire C+
Blue is the Warmest Color
C+

The Book Thief C+
Man of Tai Chi C+
Kill Your Darlings C+
We Are What We Are C+
Pain and Gain C+
Warm Bodies C+
The Great Gatsby C+
Mistaken for Strangers C+
Kings of Summer C+

We’re the Millers C+
The To Do List C+
Unfinished Song C+
Kon Tiki C+
(No review)
Room 237 C+
(No review)

Ender’s Game C
Star Trek into Darkness C
Ain’t Them Bodies Saints C
The Way, Way Back C
In a World C
Bad Grandpa C
Europa Report C
The Sapphires C (No review)
I’m So Excited C
(No review)
The Iceman C
(No review)
Monsters University C (No review)
Kickass 2 C (No review)
Antiviral C (No review)
Disconnect C (No review)
The Purge C (No review)
Twenty Feet From Stardom C (No review)

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug C-
Byzantium C-
Runner Runner C-
Carrie C-
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 C-
A Hijacking C-
Despicable Me 2 C-
The Grandmaster C-
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone C-
Maniac C-

The Summit C- (Kyle)
Cockneys Vs. Zombies C- 
(No review)
Beautiful Creatures C-
(No review)
Olympus Has Fallen C- (No review)
Dead Man Down C-
(No review)

Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom D+
R.I.P.D. D+

Insidious: Chapter 2 D+
Spring Breakers D+
42 D+
Riddick D+
The Heat D+
Closed Circuit D+
Pacific Rim D+

Best Man Holiday D+ (Kyle)
Romeo and Juliet D+
(Kyle)
Mama D+

Now You See Me D+ (No review)
Lords of Salem D+ (No review)

Epic D
Diana D
White House Down D
Parkland D
Last I Heard D
The Lone Ranger D
V/H/S 2 D
21 and Over D

Escape Plan D (Evan)

Identity Thief D-
Getaway D-
Movie 43 D-
Oz: The Great and Powerful D-
The Hangover: Part 3 D- (No review)

The Host F
The Canyons F
The Fifth Estate F
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane F
The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones F
Prince Avalanche F

After Earth F

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2013 Latest Grades For Quick Scanning Grade Surfers

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The latest full reviews for your reading pleasure.

This Month:

Inside Llewyn Davis A-
Saving Mr. Banks C+
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug C-
Her A+
Out of the Furance A-
Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom D+

November:

Frozen B+
Philomena B
Nebraska A-
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire C+
Best Man Holiday D+ (Kyle)
Blue is the Warmest Color C+
The Book Thief C+
Diana D
Thor: The Dark World B
Dallas Buyers Club A+
12 Years a Slave A+
Last Vegas D+
About Time B
Ender’s Game C
Man of Tai Chi C+

October:

Bad Granpa B+ (Evan)
The Counselor B
Wadjda B
All is Lost A
Escape Plan D (Evan)
Carrie C-
The Fifth Estate F
Kill Your Darlings C+
Machete Kills B (Evan)
Romeo and Juliet D+ (Kyle)
Captain Phillips A
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane F

September:

Enough Said B-
Baggage Claim D+
Rush B+
Don Jon B-
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 C-
Prisoners A-
We Are What We Are C+
Runner Runner C-

The Summit C- (Kyle)
Parkland D
Gravity A-
Popularie B+
Insidious: Chapter 2 D+
Short Term 12 A-
Riddick D+

August:

Getaway D-
Closed Circuit D+
You’re Next B
Ain’t Them Bodies Saints C
The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones F
Prince Avalanche F
Elysium B+
We’re the Millers C+

July:

Blackfish A-
Crystal Fairy B
Blue Jasmine B-
Fruitvale Station A
The To Do List C+
The Wolverine B
Turbo B-
The Conjuring B+
Only God Forgives A
Pacific Rim D+
Despicable Me 2 C-
The Way, Way Back C
The Lone Ranger D

June:

The Heat D+
The Spectacular Now A-
A Hijacking C-
Before Midnight A+
Man of Steel B+
This is the End A

May:

The Bling Ring B-
Unfinished Song C+
Last I Heard D
Wish You Were Here B-
Star Trek into Darkness C
Frances Ha A-
The Great Gatsby C+
Iron Man 3 B-

April:

Mistaken for Strangers C+
Much Ado About Nothing B-
Kings of Summer C+
The East B-
Oblivion B+
42 D+
Trance B
What Maisie Knew A
Pain and Gain C+
Mud B+
Evil Dead B

March:
Spring Breakers D+
The Place Beyond the Pines B+
Stoker B+

February:
Warm Bodies C+
Side Effects B

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