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When Hollywood stops being so goddamn lazy with its movie concepts, I’ll do the same and actually Google the movie listings. Until then, here are the movies that are Probably In Theaters:

ACTION: Approaching the Bench

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Approaching the Bench: “A disillusioned judge decides to take the law into his own hands and begins hitting the gym.”

SCI-FI: Down to Earth

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Down To Earth: “An abandoned Alien teenager tries to live a normal life in a small town in southern california. His feelings for the local cheerleading captain are complicated when puberty hits and his alien genitalia come in.”

COMEDY: All Greek to Me

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All Greek To Me: “A hearty teenage girl goes to Greece for the summer to stay with her distant relatives when her parents get a divorce. She learns about life, love, kebabs, and that differences are only skin-deep.”

HORROR: You Are What You Eat

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You Are What You Eat: “When disobedient schoolchildren go missing, the trail leads to the cafeteria.”

ROMANCE: Legalese

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Legalese: “Two uptight and perpetually single lawyers find each other: on opposing sides of a career-making case.”

THRILLER: Cover Girl

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Cover Girl: “A beautiful secret agent masquerades as a jetsetting model in the world’s most fashionable—and dangerous—cities.”

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